Red Is For Valentines
by The Pyrat
Summary: Matt isn't a very social person, so why then is he staying out all night and making mysterious phone calls? Even stranger, why is he so determined to lie to Mello about it? Mello decides to get to the bottom of it, and discovers something unexpected...
1. Chapter 1

_**Check it out:** the wonderful Kiliki-chan is writing a super special awesome alternate version of this, from Matt's POV, called LA Is For Lovers. Check it out ;)_

_**Warnings:** Spoilers, non-explicit yaoi and other sexual material, much innuendo, and language. Please realize that what I write as Mello's opinions are not necessarily my own._

_**Author's Note: **Songs by Shwayze were the perfect inspiration for writing this. They excellently capture the exact feelings I wanted for this story. I would suggest "Buzzin", "Corona and Lime", "Hollywood", and "Lazy Days". In honor of mycrimsonrose13's LiveJournal MattxMello story contest that this shall be entered in, it was written with a summer theme. Believe me, I had plenty of inspiration for that too. SoCal is real hot these days. _

_I tried changing my Mellocentric writing a bit for this, experimenting with a slightly new style. My, it was fun! I wanted this story to be a celebration of every aspect of Matt and Mello. Them as friends, and as a couple. The kinky side, the romantic side, Matt as seme and Mello as uke, and the reverse. I wanted to capture it all._

_So, here is Chapter 1 :)_

_**Death Note and all related characters belong to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.**_

* * *

Matt and I have been friends for…let's see, how long has it been? It might as well have been our entire freaking lives. We've known each other since we were about six years old. So…

Fifteen years. _Fifteen_ freaking years we've been friends. That's over a decade. That's like past friendship and into family. I mean, we might as well be family. We share an apartment, and we've pretty much always been together, except for during the little mafia incident. But we kept in contact. We'd call each other every once in a while. When we teamed up again before the Kira case ended, it was right back to be being like old times. Just two friends united to kick Kira's ass. And we did. Sort of.

But that's getting off the subject.

The point is, we're _supposed _to be friends, and friends are _supposed _to share things with each other. You know, communication and conversation. They're supposed to talk to each other about what's going on in their lives. That means no freaking secrets. No lying and sneaking around and avoiding subjects.

The bastard. I _know _Matt is hiding something because the kid can't tell a lie to save his life. His face is an open book; if he's guilty you can see it from a mile away. Usually when I catch him in a lie he'll fess up, but not this time.

Why is he being so stubborn?

I mean honestly, what could he possibly be doing that would upset me? Hell, he knows he could be part of an organized crime ring and I wouldn't give a damn. The only thing I can possibly think of is that he's somehow teamed with Near and is working with him behind my back, but…

Ha! Yeah right. Matt teamed with Near. Funny.

As if that would happen.

But maybe I should start at the beginning. The first time I noticed he was hiding something…

…

It was about mid June, just before the start of summer, and the heat in LA was climbing up into the hundreds. The summers in California could really make me miss Winchester, and I was feeling a particular longing for it that day. Why?

Our apartment complex was having AC problems. Which meant there wasn't going to be any nice cold air rushing through the vents today. Just hot dry air sitting stagnant in all the rooms. You better not even _suspect _that I put on leather. Hell, no. I was lying on the couch naked with a cold soda, feeling all sticky with sweat and drowsy with the heat. Like I was going to pass out or something. The radio station I'd turned on was on a commercial break, but I was feeling too lazy to even get up and switch the station. I'm not kidding; the heat makes you feel dead.

So there I was. Laying there. Dead.

Just about anyway.

Really, I was glad that Matt wasn't there. If he was in the apartment breathing his hot breath all over the place, it would likely raise the temperature even more and I'd lose my mind. Still, it was odd that he wasn't there. Matt wasn't a social person. In fact, if it wasn't for me, I don't think he'd have any contact with humans at all. He'd just stay holed up in this apartment day and night playing video games. We're good for each other, Matt and I. I keep him social and he keeps me sane, most of the time anyway.

See, Matt has this talent of occasionally having the opposite effect. As much as he can be the voice of reason for me, he can drive me just as far into insanity. But keeping me normal all the time is far too big a task for anyone, so I forgive him for it. He does his best.

I'm getting distracted again. Where was I?

Ah yes. Matt was away.

And he'd _been _away too. I hadn't seen him since last night, when he went out for a pack of cigarettes. At least that was what he'd said he went out for. But really, the gas station was one freaking block away. That doesn't take all night.

I wasn't worried about it. Matt wasn't stupid, and he always carried a knife on him. Sure, it crossed my mind that maybe he'd gotten mugged or something regardless…but I wasn't one to really worry over him. He had a cell phone. If he was hurt or something he'd call me.

The idea of him having been killed was ludicrous. No one was going to want to kill Matt. The guy was so inoffensive that even a complete paranoid freak couldn't be scared of him. So I wasn't worried about him in the least, and I was a bit too distracted with the fact that I was slowly losing every drop of water in my body to really think about him much at all. It was more like this petty annoyance poking at the back of my mind, saying, 'Where the hell is Matt?' again and again like some three-year-old that won't leave you alone.

"God, you can just kill me now," I said. "I'm already facing Hell right here. Damn heat."

My cell phone rang, vibrating on the table behind me, and I reached my arm back over my head to pick it up. It was Matt's number.

I flipped it open and put it to my ear. "Where are you?"

"Nice greeting," he said. Judging by the background noise I guessed he was in a store of some kind. "I guess I should be flattered. What do you know, Mels cares about me."

"Yeah right," I rolled my eyes. "Anyway, you got an answer? I'm dying here."

"Heat sucks, huh?" he said. "Listen, I'm on my way home, do you want anything from the mini-mart?"

"Ice. And a Gatorade, I'm about to dry up."

"Right-o Mr. Mafiaso. You got it." The other line clicked off, and I glared at the phone in disgust before dropping it to the floor.

The door opened about fifteen minutes later, and I tipped my head back over the arm of the couch. Matt slammed the door shut with his foot, his arms full with a large paper bag of stuff from the mart. For being out all night he sure did looking neat and tidy. In fact, he just looked neat and tidy period.

And Matt was one who didn't really bother about his looks.

"Where you been?" I asked again, as he tossed me a purple Gatorade and hefted a bag of ice onto the table behind my head. "Don't tell me you spent the night clubbing?"

As if. Matt in a club. Matt in a club with other people there. Amusing, but no.

Unless it was some techno geek club, like for those Cyberkid people who attached fiber optic cords to their bodies and wore goggles all the time. He had the goggles at least.

I amused myself for a bit with the idea of Matt being a secret raver, while he took the bag to the kitchen and began putting things away. Hmm, again no answer. What the hell was his deal? There was no denying it now; Matt was avoiding the question. I got up off the couch, grabbing the bag of ice and taking it to the kitchen. As I got a plastic baggy out of the drawer to put some of it in, I glanced over my shoulder at Matt, who was putting chocolate ice cream into the freezer.

"Hey," I said. "Did you ever get your cigs?"

"Yup. And hay is for horses Mello."

"Haha. Very funny. Red is for valentines, but you've still got hair that color, smart ass." I frowned. "So it took you all night?"

He glanced back at me. "I did some other stuff. And I _did_ come home, but you were asleep. I just went back out."

"Suuure you did," I rubbed the ice bag over my arms, getting goosebumps at the sudden cold. But it was a nice escape from the heat. "Look man, you're a useless liar. Really, you're pathetic. What's the deal?"

"There's no deal," he said with a shrug. "Can't a guy drive around town for a while during the night?"

"Sure," I said, folding my arms and staring him down. "If a guy is prone to doing something like that. Which you _aren't_. Is there anything wrong with a guy being a little curious about another guy acting completely out-of-character?"

"In that case, yes, because that's just a 'nice' way of saying one guy is being nosy," he gave me a smile and a quick salute, spinning on his heel to walk back out to the living room. I followed close behind and gave him a shove in the back. He sat down on the couch, but as he did he grabbed my arm and dragged me down with him, resulting in a brief wrestling match between us as I tried to suffocate him in the couch cushions and he pulled at my hair. It came to standstill at last, with me sweating worse than ever and him grinning up at me.

"You know, common decency requires you to wear some clothing," he said.

"Yeah, well common California weather requires me not to. Unless you want me to melt."

He laughed and poked at my scar. "You already melted your _face_."

I glared at him and punched him lightly on the shoulder before I got off him to take a seat on my own side of the couch, and he sat up smiling good-naturedly. "Whatever," I said. "Like you're one to talk. I look damn good compared to you."

He shook his head as he grabbed the TV control. "You are a nasty person."

"Too bad. You're stuck with me."

"I could kick you out," he said. "I own the apartment, and I have the job. I pay the bills."

"Only because I remind you. Only because I have to wake you up in the morning to go to that job because you're immune to the alarm clock. Otherwise you'd be out on the streets. You should be thanking me."

"Fine," he sighed heavily, flipping through the TV channels and settling on some Mexican soap opera. As if he could actually understand a word of Spanish. Honestly, the kid was useless in LA. A couple started making out on the screen, full-on open mouthed tongue twisting, and Matt glanced over at me. "Look at that," he said. "Holy _crap_, he's eating her _face._"

I chuckled. "You're nuts. And you still haven't told me where you were."

"It's none of your business."

I folded my arms, reaching my foot up to shove it against his face. "I can make you talk. I'll tie you up and make you."

"Yeah, I'd like to see you try Mello. I could kick your ass any day."

I moved my foot, since I'd really just been kidding anyway. We were silent for several minutes, and then Matt said suddenly, "Hey, Mels…we're friends right?"

I gave him a weird look. "Of course we are."

"You know…we're cool? You and me?"

I stared at him blankly. "Yeeaah…are you going somewhere with this?"

He shrugged. "Not really. I was just thinking…we share an apartment and stuff…" he looked at me seriously. "But we have our own lives."

"Yes."

"We do our own things. But we're friends. We're free to do as we want. Have other friends too and…and you know just…live our own lives."

"Whatever Matt," I said, getting to my feet. "Did you get drunk last night or something?"

He frowned. "No. Well maybe a little, but-"

"Ah, okay," I smirked at him. "So you went out to get cigarettes, somehow ended up getting drunk and…let me guess…was it a one-night stand?"

His face turned bright red, matching his hair. "Well…sort of…"

"And you thought I'd care?" I laughed at him outright. "Why the hell would I care? Do what you want man. I don't know what you were making a big deal about it for. Unless you're shy because it was your first time or something."

"It wasn't," he said, looking uncomfortable. "And I didn't think you'd care. Really, why would I think you would care? I didn't think that. You were just being nosy. I have my own business."

I walked back to the bedroom, where I was hoping it would be cooler on the wood flooring. "Look, it could have been as easy as saying, 'I was out late because I fucked a whore'. That's not so hard."

I heard him make an irritated noise. "Don't say that."

…

Let's pause here.

Piece of Evidence Number 1: "Don't say that."

Don't say _what _exactly? He said it as if I'd genuinely offended him! What was offensive? The f-word? He said it all the time himself. He didn't have anything against swearing. And why all the beating-about-the-bush and hiding where he'd been? How could one go out for cigarettes and then end up drunk?

Let's continue.

…

I didn't say anything after that, and just lay down on the bedroom floor with my Gatorade and bag of ice, which I laid on my chest. Maybe it really had been his first time, so he was all sensitive about having it referred to so bluntly. Whatever. With how little he got out it wasn't that hard to believe anyway. The guy was twenty-one years old; it was about time he got out there and did something interesting with his life.

And yet…the situation was still suspicious. I couldn't make myself settle on, "He's just being shy".

I'm one whose suspicions don't die easy. They'll stick, and I'll obsess over them until I've found a reason to allow them to dissipate. So for the next few days, I was watching Matt carefully. It was only a matter of time before I discovered something, and sure enough, the very next day, I quietly entered the house to find him in the bedroom…talking on his cell phone.

Now I'd always been under the impression that Matt had no one to talk to but me and his boss. But I knew immediately that he was _not _talking to his boss (and of course he wasn't talking to me).

He hadn't heard me come in, luckily, so I snuck over to stand just outside the open bedroom door, pressed to the wall and listening hard. His voice came to me clearly.

"Yeah, I know. Sure, it would be great if I could see you again soon. I've just got the freaking watch dog prowling my apartment……yeah, Mello. He's never happy until he knows everything that's going on……no, I guess it doesn't matter……we've been friends a long time. He can be kinda crude though."

_That _shocked me. Crude? What the hell was he talking about? He was just as bad! Why would he care if I was crude? It was probably one of the most bizarre things I'd ever heard come out of his mouth. Having heard enough, I took a few heavy steps toward the kitchen then proceeded the rest of the way normally. I heard him hurriedly ending the phone call and rolled my eyes in irritation.

Late nights out, secret phone conversations…what next? Surely you're wondering why the heck I even cared, and I'll tell you. I hated things being kept from me, especially when it was so _obvious_. Secret secrets were good. Not-secrets secrets were bad and annoying. This happened to be a very blatant not-secret secret. It was just plain insulting.

As soon as I could, I got my hands on his cell phone and searched through his call history. I could hardly believe what I saw. Nearly a dozen calls in the last three days, all to the same LA number. I was just about to call it, but I heard Matt approaching and had to put the phone back in its place and occupy myself with something else so I wouldn't look suspicious. But I had no doubts now.

Something was going on, and I was going to find out what it was.

…

The next time Matt left the apartment for cigarettes, I watched him leave as carelessly as ever, but as soon as he was out the door I began to follow, moving quietly behind him as he made his way out of the apartment complex. Nothing unusual so far; he seemed to be on a direct route to the gas station where he always got his cigs, and where he also usually worked on weekdays. However, on account of him having gotten sick a few days back, he'd taken his two week vacation and would be off for a while. As if he'd needed that long to recover.

As I walked behind him I kept catching whiffs of something, and then I realized it was the scent of _my _cologne. What was he doing wearing that? _I _never even put it on! Why would Matt, Mr. I-Don't-Care-What-People-Think, bother with such a thing?

"Just what are you up to Matty-boy?" I said to myself, keeping a safe distance as I tailed him. So far, there had been no suspicious movement. He headed straight to the gas station and went inside, and I set up a surveillance point at the side of the building, peering in the large glass windows. He was standing at the counter, just getting Kools as usual, or so it seemed. But what was with the oh-so-friendly smile? And…what the…was he _laughing_?

A magazine rack was blocking my view of who was standing behind the counter, but whoever it was Matt was being awfully friendly to them. He kept leaning on the counter with his head to the side and this little smile on his face, and when he'd speak he'd make these expressions as if he was just the coolest thing on earth. Was he _flirting _with someone?

Impossible. Matt didn't flirt, and he didn't date either. The only thing he'd ever have a love affair with was his GameBoy. I huffed irritably as I watched him, wishing he'd just buy the damn cigarettes already and stop standing there looking so annoying.

Matt flirting. Ridiculous.

I glanced at my watch. He'd already been in there talking almost ten minutes, and I was beginning to get impatient. He was getting worse by the second, his tongue running lightly over his lips every now and then, an unconscious action I'm sure, but still completely wrong. Very, very wrong. And by the way his eyes moved I could tell he was really checking out who he was talking to, appreciating the way they looked.

I was giving him a death glare through the window when he suddenly glanced over and caught sight of me, his eyes widening as he did. I swiftly ducked out of sight, cursing as I did. Damn it, how was I going to explain this? Not that he didn't have plenty of explaining to do himself. I heard the gas station door open, and not wanting to be caught hiding, I walked boldly around the corner to almost run right into Matt.

"What the hell?" he said. "Mello-"

"What are you doing here?" I blurted out, before he got a chance.

He stared at me a moment as if in disbelief, then said, "I always get my cigarettes here. I _work _here, so I get a discount. You know, I'm pretty sure I've explained this before. I think the better question is what are _you _doing here?"

"Me?"

"Unless there's another guy named Mello here that neither of us know about."

"Well…I'm…" I searched about for some excuse. There was no way I was going to tell him what I was really doing. Beginning to fiddle with the cross on my rosary out of nervous habit, I suddenly got an idea. "I'm going to mass of course."

Matt's face was blank. "Are you kidding?"

"Pft, _no_. Why would I be kidding? I'm going down to the chapel on North Main."

"Mello…" Matt spoke to me slowly, as if he was trying to make sense of the situation. It was that, or he spoke slowly because he thought I was losing my mind. "You don't even own a Bible."

"They have Bibles in church. But you haven't answered my question. What are you-"

"I bought cigs!" said Matt, exasperated as he held up a pack of Kools and shook it in my face. "Mello, you…" He took out one of the sticks right then and a lighter out of his pocket, lighting it up and taking a drag. "You are beyond comprehension. You're bizarre. Are you getting sick are something?"

"Oh, _I'm _bizarre. _I'm _the weird one. Well same to you buddy." I peered into the gas station windows again, but whoever had been behind the counter was gone now. I frowned. "What's your deal? All this sneaking around."

"Are you spying on me?" He folded his arms.

"You know, it's just plain rude to so obviously be keeping secrets," I said. I held up my hands. "But whatever. It's not like I care."

Matt rolled his eyes. "Yeah, you clearly don't give a damn."

"Exactly. Now-" I glanced down at my watch again, not out of any real curiosity but just for looks. "Damn Matt, look at that. I'm late! Geez, you are so inconsiderate. Keeping me here, babbling away, wasting my time. You just can't shut your mouth can you? Some of us have responsibilities to a higher power, and I have to go."

He shook his head, giving me a little smirk. "Higher power, right. That's funny. Very funny. The heat has gotten to your head." He took the cigarette from his mouth and waved his hand. "Have fun."

Off he went. Damn him. Why hadn't he been nervous? It was almost as if he didn't even care that I'd seen him chatting it up with…someone. Not that _that _was the problem. If he'd just tell me about it everything would be fine. I hated secrets.

Matt faded out of sight down the street, and I went ahead into the gas station's store. Still no one behind the counter. I grabbed a chocolate bar off the shelf and tossed it beside the register, sighing as I waited. Nearly a minute passed and still no one came, so I began tapping the silver service bell on the counter. Once, twice, three times. Talk about poor service.

"Alright, alright! Quit ringing that thing!"

I actually took a step back from the counter. An older man with a grease stained shirt and receding hair came out of the back room to ring me up, and I was staring at him with wide eyes.

No. Just no.

"Hey, is anyone else working here?" I asked, as I handed over the money.

"Nope. It's just me," he said, handing over the chocolate bar in a plastic bag and giving me my change.

"Well, did someone just get off their shift then?"

He placed his hands on the counter. "I'm not at liberty to give our employees schedules out. Now will that be all?"

Sheesh, quick temper. Nasty old man. "Yeah, that's all." I resisted the urge to give him the finger as I went out the door, and pulled out the chocolate bar immediately to snap off a piece into my mouth. This wasn't good for me; I was beginning to obsess over it. I had a bad habit of doing that. So what if Matt was seeing someone? Why did it really matter? Sure it was annoying that he was keeping it a secret, but he'd come out with it eventually, wouldn't he?

I tried to forget about it, but the last straw came two days later. Matt came home from the market with a box of chocolates. Really nice quality, expensive, rich dark chocolates. Of course my first thought was, "Man, that was nice of him", because he rarely ate chocolate so the only person it could be for was me. I followed him into the kitchen, hoping I could manage to eat them before they melted in this awful apartment, but when I went to take them out of the bag…

"Um…those aren't for you…" he said awkwardly, giving me an apologetic smile. I could hardly believe it. Not for me?

"Who the bloody hell are they for then?" I snapped.

"Just…someone else."

…

And that was it for me. It was one thing to just be keeping secrets but when chocolate came into the picture that was it. How dare he? Spending all that money on chocolate for someone else! Someone he hadn't known for fifteen years, someone who didn't wake him up in the morning so he wouldn't be late for work. We were freaking best friends damn it, cheesy as that sounds. He couldn't just start ignoring me!

I was getting to the bottom of this, one way or another.

* * *

_Expect Chapter 2 coming soon :)_


	2. Chapter 2

_Sigh. Please resist the urge to virtually shoot me. You'll see why. I promise this is a MattxMello story at heart. Really. So I'm sorry to torment you, but otherwise there would be no plot, and therefore no story. _

_Here is Chapter 2!_

* * *

Matt was getting better at this. Nothing he did was so obvious anymore, and now I really had to work to catch him at anything suspicious. Now whenever he left the house he wouldn't tell me, and he'd only make his phone calls when he was locked away in the bathroom. The few times I followed him again he managed to lose me every time, and he no longer went to the gas station to meet whoever had been there that one time.

I was getting to the point where I was trying to make myself forget the whole thing again and just let Matt do whatever he damn well pleased. He'd been gone all night again and for hours the previous day, which was pretty rude of him because I didn't really have anything to do when he wasn't home. I wasn't a gamer, and I didn't really want to talk to anyone besides him. I mean, I _knew_ plenty of people to talk to, but they tended to irritate me. At least Matt could keep up with my conversations most of the time. I think I lost other people after my first few sentences, at least when I tried to talk intelligently to them.

Anyway, I was just waking up, sprawled across the bed with the blankets kicked to the floor, staring up at the ceiling as if there was actually something there to see. It was just crossing my mind that I should put something above the bed for me to look at, when I heard something from the living room. It was…

A _giggle_?

I sat up, glaring at the doorway, just through which I could hear soft conversation and more laughter, the kind that is hushed and muffled as if no one should be hearing it. I got up and walked across the still-cold wood floor to lean my head around the doorframe and get a view of the couch. Matt had come home alright, but he'd brought something with him. Something with which he was now sharing those dark chocolates he'd bought that hadn't been for me.

The something he'd brought home was lounging across his lap with its arms around his neck, its dark hair falling over the arm of the couch. It was a slim but small form, looking as if it would probably be shorter than Matt if they both stood up.

Heh. My apartment was being overrun by midgets. But anyway…

Matt took one of the chocolates in his mouth, leaning down so that the something could bite it in half before they kissed. Chocolate was across both their lips, and I could see their tongues flickering and touching, that sweet dark stuff all in between.

Damn it. I was _not _just going to stand there like I was watching a freaking porno. I left the bedroom, walking over to stand directly in back of the something and directly in front of Matt….who had his eyes closed at the moment while he and the something shared saliva. I folded my arms and tapped my foot impatiently, finally getting his attention as I coughed pointedly. He nearly choked.

"Geez Mel, do you mind?" he said, not letting the something turn around to see who had been watching.

"What is _that_?" I said.

"Go get dressed would you?"

Yeah right. "It's my house too. I'll go around naked if I want to. Now how did that get in the house?"

"One minute," he said softly to the something, before he got to his feet and grabbed me with one hand on my arm and the other gripping my hair. I pulled his hair right back and twice as hard, so we both went into the bedroom grimacing and grappling against each other. He pushed the door shut before he let me go.

"Sheesh, jerk," I said, rubbing the back of my head.

"Mello, has it ever even occurred to you that not everyone in the world wants to see you naked?" Matt said, delving into the closet and throwing clothes at me. "Get dressed. I don't want her thinking I live with a freaking nudist."

_Her_. "Ah, so you have a girlfriend?"

"Yeah, I do," he said. "And I'd like to be able to bring her over without you doing…this."

"That's the problem with girlfriends, Matt. They interfere with your entire life." I pulled on some underwear and shorts then began shifting through the shirts he'd thrown all over the floor. "See, one-night stands are better. No commitment, no having to change your life to impress anyone. And just a quick note here: she's not _my _girlfriend. Why does she have to interfere with _my _life? And what was the deal with all the secrecy?"

"Just shut up, would you?" he sat down on the bed, rubbing his head. "Look, I don't want to live like this my whole life, okay? I'm not into just using people and throwing them away." He gave me a pretty severe look as he said that. What? So maybe I'd used a few people, big deal. Well maybe it was more than a few, but still… "Her name is Alex, and she works down at the gas station with me. I didn't tell you because…well I didn't want you to get upset. I mean, since it's always just been us-"

"She isn't moving in," I said, finally pulling on a shirt and taking my rosary off the bedside table. "No way."

"She's already rooming with a friend near the college," he said, shaking his head. "I wouldn't have her move in with us."

I gave him a suspicious look. "Are you going to marry her?"

His eyes widened. "No. No, no, no. I'm not thinking marriage here, man, sheesh."

"I was just checking," I said. I was still a little in shock, though I'd had my suspicions that this was what was going on. It figured that he'd end up dating someone eventually…I just hadn't been prepared for him to start. Like I'd already noticed, this wasn't just going to affect _his _life. He was already spending a lot of time with this chick…not that I cared about that…

I shrugged. "Whatever. It's your life right?"

He nodded. "Just try to be nice, okay? Don't offend her."

…

"Don't offend her". Oh that's funny. I didn't often _try _to offend people. I just talk, and it ends up that BAM! They're offended. It isn't on purpose unless I really, really don't like someone. But generally I just tell things like they are. I think the problem is that I'm honest (most of the time). Apparently people can't handle honesty. They're all sensitive and whiny.

People are annoying.

That's one of the nice things about Matt: he can handle honesty because he just doesn't care. So I can say whatever I want to him and he won't be affected. I can call him an idiot and be totally pissed off at him, but for all that I might as well be kicking a wall. Literally, because when you kick a wall _you're _the only one who's going to be affected. What usually happens is that Matt will be perfectly honest right back at me. And though I can dish out honesty all day long, I'm not very good at taking it. Especially since Matt has this annoying habit of figuring me out.

Matt's a nice guy and we get along really well. Otherwise we wouldn't be living together. So it was understandably a little irritating to suddenly have this "Alex" girl coming in and interfering, basically becoming the focus of Matt's life. But that was what I had to remind myself of: it was _Matt's _life. Not mine. I didn't have a right to control it, or try to. It wasn't like we _shared_ a life, like we were a…couple…or something.

No. We weren't. His life was his, mine was mine. If he wanted to give that life of his over to his girlfriend, that was fine with me. I'd get used to the idea soon enough.

So when we left the bedroom, with me fully dressed, I decided I'd try to be nice. I'd put forth a little effort. Matt had helped me out on more than one occasion and had quite frankly risked his life before on my orders, so I felt I owed it to him to at least try to be polite to his girlfriend. So there she was, Alex, sitting on the couch looking a little worried and confused. I guess she and Matt went together pretty well. She had dark hair, and nice clothes that were a little on the punk side. She was more-than-okay looking, and she had green eyes.

For some reason it occurred to me that I liked how Matt's eyes looked even though they were dull brown.

"I hope everything is okay," she said. "Is there a problem?"

"Nothing at all," said Matt, taking a seat on the couch and putting his arm around her. Ew, they kept making eyes at each other. I didn't know how long I could put up with this.

"Yeah, there's not a problem," I said. "Matt and I just had to talk. Hi, by the way. I'm Mello. The uh…apartment watchdog."

Matt's face reddened slightly, and Alex laughed. "Oh, _you're _Mello. Yeah, Matt has told me about you."

Oh really? And just what has he been saying about me I wonder?

But I just smiled, trying not to make it look sarcastic. There were all the customary introductions before I took a seat on the other end of the couch. Still, this didn't put much space between me and them. There was some pointless small talk between us for a while, until Matt announced that he and Alex had been planning on going to the movies and then down to the apartment pool. It was basically his way of saying they were going to be leaving, but he apparently wasn't planning on Alex inviting me to go along.

"Since you're Matt's roommate and all, I think it would be nice for me to get to know you too," she said. "You don't mind, do you Matty?"

I snickered, and "Matty" shrugged helplessly. "No. I don't mind at all."

So off we went, the happy couple plus the tag-along, onto the streets of LA. Oh joy, what fun we would have.

…

It was off to the theater first, and since it was only a few blocks away we didn't bother to take the Camaro. After all, gas was too expensive these days to waste it when we could just walk. The whole way there I trailed along behind Matt and his girl, rolling my eyes at their cuddling and kissing and hand-holding and…ugh. It was all so mushy and love-y. Jesus, Matt, get a hold of yourself!

It just figured that Alex would be a geek at heart too. Both she and Matt wanted to see this new science fiction movie that was out, and I didn't bother to protest. _Then _they started talking about some video game they both liked, and these different cheat codes and special attacks they knew. Basically, they switched over to "geek-speak".

"Then on level 16, when you enter Quadrant 3 and battle the Space Captain to get the rocket pass to planet Enor, if you turn to the right after the fifth door you can pick up the Space Staff number 2, which has the special ability that turns you invisible and gives 15 experience points. But that's only if you're equipped with the galactic battle armor."

Yeah, it was _that _bad. I could feel my brain melting as they spoke.

At any rate, I was pretty sure I could endure the slowly growing geekiness as long as they stopped talking once the movie started. Oh they stopped talking alright, not that what they started doing instead was much better. I felt very much like telling them to get a room, or at least take it to the bathroom or something. Sheesh, just because it was a dark theater didn't mean people couldn't hear them freaking sucking on each other's mouths. Maybe they weren't doing that _exactly_, but they might as well have been. Going off of Matt's priceless line from several days ago, it was like, "Holy _crap_, they're eating each other's faces!"

It was unfortunately hard to block out, considering Matt was sitting right next to me with Alex on his other side. I kept glancing over at them despite trying not to, and to be honest it didn't look like Matt was too bad at kissing, considering he probably hadn't done it much. I didn't even realize that as I was watching them my mouth kept opening and closing, my tongue moving against my lips. I closed my eyes to shut them out, and got this sudden image of Matt looking down at me with that smirk of his, holding my wrists captive so I couldn't move and kissing my mouth as he moved his body against mine-

Whoa. Absolutely not. Bad image. Very. _Bad. _Image.

I got up quickly, mumbling to the very distracted Matt and Alex that I'd be right back. I went out to the lobby and then swiftly to the restrooms, where despite there being two other people I abruptly slapped myself in front of the mirror, getting some weird looks. I turned on the faucet, rubbing cold water on my face and mentally scolding myself. No, no, _no_. None of that.

I leaned against the sink and pushed my hair back out of my face. This was normal, right? I mean, everyone once in a while will have a really weird fantasy, but that doesn't mean that they actually…want it…

Of course it doesn't. Really, who could blame me for such a fleeting idea? With Matt making out right next to me my imagination was bound to come up with something. What it came up with just happened to be particularly disturbing. The very idea. Ridiculous!

And impossible. Very impossible.

Still, I wasn't very keen on the idea of going back into the theater and watching Matt and Alex go at it again. Stupid Matt. He was a freaking adult; he was supposed to be past the weird, lustful, hormone-charged stage of his life. Or he was at least supposed to be more discreet.

I bought a chocolate bar at the front counter and sat on one of the benches inside the lobby to wait until the movie was over. What was up with all the romance movies coming out? Dramatic romantic, funny romantic, tragic romantic, and just-plain-stupid romantic. The posters for them were everywhere. Looked like I couldn't escape people making kissy-faces at each other very easily. Damn sex-obsessed world.

The movie let out about an hour later, and there came Matt and Alex, holding hands and laughing. Such a happy little couple. I stood up as they approached, and Matt asked, "Hey where'd you go? I thought you were only going to be gone a minute."

So he _had _noticed when I'd left. "I just felt a little sick," I said. "I think I went too long without eating or something."

"So you got a chocolate bar?" said Alex, with a skeptical smile.

I smiled right back. "I did. Turns out it really helped. I think that after being alive for twenty-one years I've finally figured out what I need to eat and when. Amazing, isn't it?"

"Mello, opstay ethay arcasmsay," said Matt tensely, and I raised my eyebrows innocently.

"Itquay ithway ethay ublicpay ornpay actway andway aybemay Iway illway onsidercay itway," I said, and his face blushed such a deep red that Alex raised her eyebrows at me, probably thinking I'd said something really nasty. "Sorry," I said. "So rude of Matt, isn't it? Speaking in a language his girlfriend can't understand. Tsk, tsk. Don't worry, I told him how rude he's being."

"Oh really?" she said. "Well thanks for informing me of that. I thought it was probably polite to stop listening after I heard 'ornpay'."

…

I usually kept plenty of space between me and our apartment complex's pool. I didn't even want to imagine all the fungi and germs that got into that water. Really, when you think about it, public pools are disgusting. Consider all the sweat, fungus-y feet, and bodily fluids that come in contact with that water. Yeah. It's _gross_.

But after the little incident at the theater, I really needed something to cool me off. A nice distraction to get my mind off…other things. It was a perfect day for swimming at least, though I could definitely count on getting sun-burnt to a crisp, as I usually did. I was beginning to complain about it a bit on the way to the pool, when Matt told me that it was my own fault.

"If you'd actually put on sunscreen, it wouldn't happen," he said, already spreading the stuff all over his shoulders and helping Alex get it on her back. Sunscreen was just so vile to me. It was sticky and thick. But when it got wet it was really slick though, at least the kind we have…like coating your body in slippery gel…

What the hell? Off my mind was going into bad places again. I quickly shook my head and began pinching myself as we walked. One of us three had to stay right in the head at least, and it was clear enough that person had to be me. These fantasies…ridiculous…nonsense…waste of my time…

It just figured that the pool would almost completely full when we arrived. There were annoying screaming kids _everywhere_, and those that weren't kids were still cringe-worthy. I wouldn't be able to stand the cramped conditions. It was bad enough to go in one of these cesspits posing as a pool if it was empty, but with a bunch of strangers in it? No, sir. I was not going in that thing.

"I'll watch," I said, grabbing the only available chair there was. "You know, in case you decide to try making out under water and end up drowning."

"Aw, would you save us?" said Matt, tossing his shirt on my chair.

I glared at him. "No. I'd laugh."

So there I was left, already feeling my skin burning in the sun, glowering on the chair as Alex and Matt went through the customary "couple" stuff to do when at the pool. They put even _more _sunscreen on each other, and jumped in holding hands. I was going to be ill if I had to watch this much longer. It wasn't at all helpful that Matt kept nuzzling her neck with his arms around her waist, kissing her skin and whispering something to her. I spent nearly an hour just digging my nails into my palms, telling myself, 'No weird thoughts, no weird thoughts…'

Alex got out first, still smiling as she came over to grab her towel and sit on the cement beside my chair. Matt called out something to her, the finish of some joke I'd been left out on, and she burst into laughter.

"He's great isn't he?" she said. I didn't reply, hoping she was talking to herself more than me. But she glanced over at me and went on. "You're so lucky that you've known him for so long. He must be an awesome friend."

"Oh yeah. He's fantastic," I said, hoping the conversation would end there. I didn't really want to go through listening Matt's girlfriend sing his praises, but Alex seemed pretty insistent on talking about how well they got along and how perfect they were for each other. Matt had gotten himself into a pool volleyball match against some other young guys, and I was beginning to feel really stupid sitting there on the side of the pool with this chick yapping at me.

"But you know," I said, interrupting her. "He does have some flaws. I mean, he's really watching himself for you, but eventually they'll start to show."

"Really? Well nobody is perfect," she said. "What are they?"

"Well," I leaned back, trying to think of all the stuff Matt did to irritate me. "He smokes like crazy. You've probably already noticed that though. He's not good at holding a job. It's only because of me that he's had his current one for so long. He snores like a freaking pig. But maybe you know that already too. Oh yeah, and he probably loves his DS more than you. No offense. He can't hold his alcohol well. He leaves his underwear on the floor and sometimes wears the same clothes for several days in a row without washing them. He rarely washes his hands after he uses public bathrooms. He brushes his hair maybe once a week. He can't sing, but he tries to anyway. He-"

"Okay," she said quickly. "I guess he annoys you a little sometimes."

Matt finally hauled himself onto the concrete for a quick breather, and I got up. "I think I'm going to go in for a while," I said.

"Oh, well you'll need sunscreen," said Alex. "You're burning up really bad."

"I don't wear sunscreen."

She shook her head and reached into her bag. "You'll end up getting skin cancer. Here. Use this. It isn't sticky." She held out a bottle of some brand I'd never seen before, but that was because it was the expensive stuff, the kind someone would buy in a nice store rather than a corner market like where Matt and I got all our things. I sighed heavily but put some on, and thankfully it was much better than the cheap brand. Matt came over to give Alex a quick kiss (geez, couldn't he keeping his mouth off of her?) and she said to me, "Don't forget your back too."

Great. Nice reminder, thanks a lot. Now I'll have to look like an idiot while I try to get this stupid stuff on my back.

"I'll get it Mel," said Matt suddenly.

Damn it. I didn't want this. Yet I just sat there stuttering stupidly as he snatched the bottle out of my hands. I wouldn't have cared if he did this yesterday. It was only because I'd had to watch him touching his girlfriend all day. It wasn't good for me, it was perverting my mind. It only made it worse that this sunscreen was so nice and spread over my skin as easily as lotion. I felt Matt begin to rub it across my back, his touch firm but rather delicate, his fingers spreading and moving a bit more slowly than they needed to. Sheesh, couldn't he just hurry it up? He moved to rub it on my lower back and my whole body went tense. Why couldn't Alex be one of those really jealous types who couldn't stand to see their men touch anyone else? But she was perfectly fine. And why not? Matt and I were friends.

_Just _friends.

My stupid imagination had just developed a habit of thinking otherwise. When Matt's hands moved down my back I got chills all over and flinched, making him pause.

"Done," he said, and it was as if his words suddenly brought me out of a haze and into reality, back to life's normal speed. He tossed down the sunscreen bottle, nonchalant as ever, then ran to jump into the pool with a yell. I stood up awkwardly, wishing my face didn't feel so hot, and this heat wasn't from the sun. You know that awful feeling you get when you think you must surely be blushing because your face is burning up, but you're only red _sometimes_? That's exactly what this was like. So if I really was red in the face, it was best to get rid of it as soon possible.

The redness I mean. Not my face.

The pool really was a bit too crowded for jumping in to be allowed, but I didn't often let rules and caution stop me. I jumped off the very edge of the concrete and flipped in, letting the cool water envelop me totally. It was such a welcome change from the heat that after briefly coming up for air I stayed under for nearly a full minute, but that was just about my limit for holding my breath.

Since Alex was out of the pool now Matt was more focused on just playing. He pushed me back under when I tried to come up for air, but I got around behind him and latched onto his shoulders, forcing him under before he flipped us both under the surface. I would have kept my grip on him, had a sudden thought not flashed through my mind like an electrical shock. The two of us clinging to each other, his skin slick, dripping wet…

_Crap_. It made me let go of him so quick he looked surprised. Unfortunately he wasn't really fazed, because he went right back at it, wrestling me under the water and pushing me around. It was all just friendly to him, just a game, just innocent.

Just friends.

I forced myself to focus on that, pushing him back and trying to dunk him. Ignore the thoughts, focus elsewhere. Focus on the fact that we're friends. Friends since we were two lonely little kids in Wammy's House, friends even after I left that place with my hopes crushed. Friends even while I was with the mafia, breaking the law all for the sake of becoming number one.

Wow. Looking back on it, it really amazed me that Matt had stayed with me through so much. And then, after watching all the destruction I caused and knowing it could cost him his life, when I called him up and said "I need you" he hadn't hesitated to join me.

Why the heck Matt? I'm not that special. Why'd you follow me from Winchester, across the U.S, and then into Japan? What did you get out of it? I didn't offer to pay you, but you still…

Sheesh. You deserve a kiss for doing something that nice-

"Ha! Got you Mello," Matt pinned me to the side of the pool, twisting my arm around behind my back. "You got weak there for a second. Can't let your guard down around me. Give up?"

I struggled a little, and he pressed my face harder against the cement playfully. Yes, make it hurt-

No. Stop it.

"Yeah, I give up," I said, and instantly reminded myself that it should _not _thrill me to say that. He let go of my wrists, but put his arms around my shoulders and leaned over my back to get a look at my face.

"You okay?" he said.

I nodded quickly. "I'm fine." He smiled at me, his face_ very _close.

"Look man, I know this whole thing with Alex is really sudden," he said. "You're not mad are you?"

"No," I said, trying to make it sound obvious. "Of course not. Why would I be mad? It's great, you finally dating someone."

He raised his eyebrows. "You really think so?"

"Yeah. Why? Don't you?"

He pulled himself up onto the side of the pool and lay down on the concrete. "Of course I do," he mumbled tiredly. "It's the best thing in the world, just about. Having a girl and all…maybe you should try dating sometime."

"I don't think so," I said, getting out to towel dry. "I really don't think there's any girl out there that would put up with me for long."

Matt thought a moment. "Well, Halle likes you. You still have her number, don't you?"

I winced. First of all I could never date a woman who was taller than me, and Halle definitely fell into that category. Second, she was working with Near. That ruled her out immediately.

And this was all besides the fact that I simply had no attraction to the woman. I'd never had any weird fantasies about _her_, even when she'd showered in front of me.

I needed a shot of tequila and long night's sleep. Unfortunately, it didn't seem like the latter of those things would be happening for me tonight.

"Hey," Alex said to me, as we were heading up to the apartment. "I'm spending the night with Matt tonight. I hope you don't mind me being in the apartment."

Oh. Yay.

* * *

_Hehe…so…you've met Alex now…poor girl probably has a lot of hate going in her direction. But nothing would be able to happen in this story without her. I know, I have done the forbidden thing and paired an OC with one of the precious Wammy Boys. If she even could count as an OC, since she certainly isn't any character I made specially with much love and affection. She just showed up one day._

"_Mello, opstay ethay arcasmsay." "Mello, stop the sarcasm."_

"_Itquay ithway ethay ublicpay ornpay actway andway aybemay Iway illway onsidercay itway." "Quit with the public porn act and maybe I will consider it."_

_Translations for those of you who don't know Pig Latin :) Don't worry, I don't either. Aw, the wonderful things online translators can do!_


	3. Chapter 3

_My mind went off into weird places with this chapter. You'll see. I had a certain idea, but wasn't sure how to follow it up, so I just went with the first thing I could think of._

_Don't worry, you'll be getting your dosage of more __**intimate **__MattxMello soon enough. Just endure the dreaded MattxOC a little bit longer :D I'm just slowly building up the plot :innocent smile:_

_Here is Chapter 3!_

* * *

I guess there's no point in telling you that Matt got the bedroom that night. That was usually my place to sleep, and he'd take the couch, but every once in a while he'd complain and want the bed, so we'd play poker for it or flip a coin.

Problem was that Matt now had a girlfriend. Which meant he had a VIP admittance pass to the bedroom and the bed. The only card game to be played tonight was strip poker, and the coin was only going to land on tails.

Wow. That was a lame play on words.

So there I lay, on the couch, very wide awake and feeling decidedly bitter. They could have just rented a motel and spared me from being kept up all night. It was wretchedly distracting even though the bedroom door was closed. I ended up turning on Matt's I-Pod just to tune them out. Stupid hormonally imbalanced idiots! Careless, rude, selfish. For all Matt knew that girl could have some weird disease and he'd end up getting it. It would be his own fault if he did.

They finally were asleep by two in the morning. Freaking _two_ and I'd already had to try to explain to our neighbors one room over and across the hall about what was going on when they came storming to the door. I really couldn't do a thing to stop it though; I was as much an innocent victim as they were.

But finally, blessed, blessed silence. I was ready to just drop dead asleep on the couch, but it wasn't long before I began thinking about the possibility of this same thing reoccurring. Undoubtedly it _would_, unless Matt broke up with her. Or unless he…

Hm. The idea that came with that last "unless he" was rather interesting, and worth trying. Even if it didn't keep them apart and guarantee me a good night's sleep forever after, I'd still love to see the reaction.

What can I say? I hadn't pulled a prank in years. It was about time I did something for fun, and for a bit of revenge. I was luckily able to find everything I needed in the kitchen, and all that was left was to take care of business without Matt or Alex waking up. This was rather difficult considering the situation. I was just lucky they were both exhausted.

But with the job done and all evidence that could point the finger at me disposed of, I finally got the sleep I needed. Let's see how you like getting just what you deserve Matt.

…

I was woken up far too early. But as I drowsily opened my eyes, I realized I wasn't waking up naturally. Someone was shaking me and hissing at me in a panicked whisper. I narrowed my eyes against the light pouring into the apartment to find Matt kneeling down beside the couch, his expression worried as he chewed on his lip anxiously.

Oh. Right. I was expecting this.

I held back my smirk, keeping my expression neutral instead. "Is something wrong?"

"Yes!" Matt whispered, glancing back nervously at the closed bedroom door. "Last night we…me and Alex, well…well you know….and everything was fine…but then…this morning, when I woke up I…I…"

I sat up. "You _what_?"

"_I have a problem_."

My mouth twitched before I could stop it, but I swiftly assumed an expression of completely innocent ignorance. "What kind of problem, Matt?" I said, sighing as I got up and stretched my arms. "If you're talking about the problem with your brain, I think we've been over that already. There's no helping you."

"This is serious!" he snapped. "My skin…down _there_…it's…green."

Don't laugh, don't laugh. "Pardon?"

"It's green!" he grabbed my shoulders, shaking me. "My dick is effing _green_! That isn't normal!"

A laugh slipped out, but thankfully it wasn't too suspicious considering what he'd just said. Apparently Matt wasn't amused. He pulled down his boxers, effectively proving his predicament. "Wow," I said, shaking my head as I choked on laughter. "That doesn't look very good."

"No, it doesn't!" he kicked his underwear off his ankles and began to pace, looking perfectly ridiculous. "I've never heard of anything like this! How am I supposed to fix it?"

"Well I can't really say," I said. "I've never had this particular…problem. Then again I don't sleep around-"

"Neither do I!" said Matt, his voice rising in pitch with frustration.

"What about Alex?"

"What about her?"

Sigh. It's amazing he got to be third at Wammy's. "Do you know Alex's sexual history? How do you know who she was sleeping with beforeyou? You have to be careful who you do it with Matt. That girl could be carrying all sorts of diseases. Didn't you ever ask?"

"Mello," Matt folded his arms, speaking in an isn't-it-obvious kind of voice. "You don't just ask a girl about things like that. It's too personal."

"You're sleeping with her! How is anything else too personal?"

"It's just rude!" He scratched his head, about to sit down on the couch until I stopped him, telling him not to go spreading his germs everywhere. He huffed, rubbing his arms anxiously. "I guess I'll have to go to the doctor. Ugh, I hate doctors."

"No, no, don't bother," I said, waving my hand as I got out his laptop and opened it up. "We'll probably be able to find a cure for it online. Homeopathic medicine is better for you anyway."

"Mello, don't you think this is a little too serious to be experimenting with at-home junk?"

I glanced over at him as if assessing the situation. But really, to be honest, he just looked good naked. Green dick or not. "Look, let's just give this a chance. We don't exactly have the money for a doctor's visit anyway. If it gets worse, then go ahead. But why not try this first?"

He made a little noise in his throat. "I guess…I don't know anything about this stuff…and Alex and I were going to that video game convention today…"

"Trust me Matt; I'll take care of it. Go ahead to your geek fest and by the time you get back, I'll have a cure. Okay?"

He hesitated a moment, then gave me a small smile. "Alright. Thanks Mels. I owe you."

"No problem. Just get some clothes on before Alex sees you. She'll freak."

"I know, I know." I watched him hop on one foot a moment as he pulled back on his boxers before going into the bedroom. Aw, poor Matt. Poor, poor naïve Matt. I smirked as I looked down at the computer screen. Now, let's see what kind of "cure" I can come up with.

Man, I'd forgotten how fun pranks could be.

…

Turned out that Matt's "issue" was really worrying him. He called me five times throughout the day to ask "how things were going" and similar questions. I just told him to relax and let me handle it. I was beginning to pity him a bit after the last phone call, which was made from the men's bathroom at the convention and Matt despairingly told me he hadn't gotten better yet.

"I think it's getting worse," he said, his voice lowered in hopes that no one else would hear him.

"Matt, look, you're probably just imagining it. I'm sure it's no worse than when you left. Listen, just calm down and forget about it." I got myself a bowl of chocolate ice cream from the fridge and drizzled it with chocolate syrup before going back out to the couch. I'd had the laptop turned off for hours since my plans were already in place, but I said anyway, "I'm on the internet right now. It's not going to be fun, but there's some stuff we can try."

I found out that Matt was good at something besides video games and smoking; he was good at making me feel guilty for giving him what he deserved for keeping me up almost all night. Not long after that fifth phone call he sent me a text message, which read, "i o u 1 Mel. i will buy choco 4 u b4 i get home. thnks. –MJ"

Dang it, Matt. Stop being so cute.

Matt got home around seven, having already driven Alex back to her place. He tried being sneaky as he came in, and just to make him feel like he'd succeeded I let him tackle me as he jumped over the back of the couch. Letting go of the tight grip he had around me for several moments, he flopped over with his head on my lap.

"Heeeeelp meeeee!" he said dramatically, jokingly rasping the words from his throat and clutching at his heart as if he was dying. I rolled my eyes, and he reached into his pocket, withdrawing a chocolate lollipop. "The mart doesn't carry any fancy chocolate like what you eat," he said. "And I knew you already had plenty here. So I thought maybe you'd want to try something new."

I smiled, shaking my head, and unwrapped the lollipop and stuck it in my mouth. "Thanks Matt. It's pretty good."

"Yeah, it looks good too."

I glanced up at him, and for a moment we both were completely silent, giving each other somewhat awkward looks. But then he just cleared his throat and got off me, shaking his head and fluffing out his hair. He hadn't thought a thing of it.

"So what do you have for me?" he asked. "Any spectacular cures?"

"It isn't very pleasant," I said. "But supposedly it should help."

"Okay, shoot."

"Acupuncture." I saw his eyes widen and his mouth drop open, utterly horrified, and I shrugged. "Considering this is some kind of bizarre rash thing it might help."

"Oh really?" he stuttered, putting a little space between the two of us and pulling his legs up to his chest. "How do you figure?"

So much for my honesty. I was such a liar. "Well…acupuncture targets various nerves and stuff like that. And rashes…they uh…they have a lot of causes. If you would prefer to assume that Alex didn't selfishly infect you," he gave me a frown, "then this could have been caused by anxiety or some kind of allergic reaction to something. Now if it's anxiety, acupuncture is very good for relaxation. If it's an allergy, acupuncture can…uhm…stimulate the nerves in such a way that it strengthens the immune system. And of course the immune system is what fights off infections and illnesses and all that problematic crap. So any way you slice it, it'll probably help somehow."

"So…needles?"

"That's what acupuncture involves, yeah."

"But it's not like they're actually going to be stuck in my…"

I shook my head. "As far as I've found out doing that isn't recommended, and probably wouldn't help much." Unfortunately. It sounded fun. Fun in a prank kind of way. Not because I thought it was hot or anything…

Matt wasn't looking like he favored the idea. He was just sitting there with his arms around his legs and his mouth pressed to his knees. "I guess I should find someone who can do it then," he said slowly. Yeah right. If this was left up to him and he really _did _have something wrong with him, he'd be dead before he actually found an acupuncturist. And that wouldn't be because he couldn't find one.

Come on. This was LA. You could find _everything _here. Including convenient little shops where boxes of acupuncture needles were sold. Who cares about experience? I was a fast learner.

"Ah Matt, why spend that kind of money?" I said. "I can do it."

"You? But you…" he winced. "You don't exactly…know how. Right?"

I waved my hand. "Don't be stupid. Do you think I'd attempt such a thing without knowing how? I looked it up on the internet, so I have some graphs. It's really easy. You just stick the needles in the right places."

He slowly began to get off the couch. "I kinda have the feeling that acupuncture means a bit more than just sticking the needles in. Since it deals with nerves and all it's a delicate practice…not really something to just _do_…Mello…"

"Oh come on, you want to get better right?" I said, following as he backed across the room. What a fun little game this was turning out to be. Just a game between friends. I chuckled. "Don't you trust me?"

"Most of the time, but you're making a creepy face," he folded his arms. "You got a fetish for needles or something?"

"Of course I don't," I said quickly. "This has nothing to do with a fetish, what's wrong with you? Sheesh, talk about having a perverted mind."

He sighed. "Sorry Mel. Yeah, I trust you. I guess we could try it…if you think it'll help…"

"I _do_," I said, getting out the bag that held my recent purchase of needles. "Just take your clothes off and lay down."

He did as I said, stripping and laying down on the couch, then wriggling about nervously as I set out the needles and the chart. Huh, the thing looked pretty complex and I wasn't sure what nerves affected what…not that it mattered I guess, since this was just for fun and to get back at him. But the feet struck me as a nice place to start.

"You ready tough-guy?" I said, looking up at him with a smirk as I crouched beside the couch. I could imagine that I looked rather threatening with four needles stuck between my fingers and a fifth between my first finger and thumb, so I played it up a little and ran my tongue over my lips.

He stuttered a moment, steadied himself, and said, "Oh yeah. I'm ready. No problem."

I quickly sterilized the area with alcohol and then brought up needle number one. Matt's toes twitched a little as I touched the needle to his skin, and I swirled my tongue around the lollipop in my mouth. I'd always thought those people with a foot fetish were weird, yet I found myself really liking how Matt's feet looked. I liked the way his toes curled like that, and I liked the idea of tying his feet down and running the tips of my fingers very lightly up and down them. I liked the idea of taking each of his toes in my mouth and treating just like this lollipop, sucking on them and letting him just lay there and watch without being able to move an inch.

Damn it, I needed a therapist. _Why, hello Mr. Keehl_, I thought out the imaginary doctor's visit in my head, _What can I do for you? _Well ma'am, I've been thinking about tying down my best friend and sucking his toes. Got anything for me? _Yes of course! Just take these twice a day._

Wouldn't that be nice? Just pop some pills and the weird fantasies would go away.

Matt jerked suddenly, snapping me out of my thoughts as I glanced at his face. "What's wrong?"

"It just twinged a bit," he said, grimacing.

"Ah, good. That's what we want; mean's it's in deep enough. Next one!"

"Oh joy."

…

About twenty minutes later and Matt was beginning to look very much like a human pincushion. _I _certainly thought it looked painful, but apparently it wasn't, since he was just lying there with his eyes closed and a blissful look on his face.

"Wow, this really is relaxing," he mumbled. "I feel all tingly."

I laughed a bit. I swear, it was amazing that he'd even let me do this. But there he was practically falling asleep as I did. I put in the last pin, having moved up to work on his arms and hands, and said, "There. I think that's enough. I'll leave them in a bit, so just relax."

"Oh I am," he said, smiling. "I bet Near could use something like this. He's probably a really tense little guy now, having to take over for L and all."

"Yeah, I'd love to stick some pins in him," I said. "Some nice big fat ones. Relax him so much that he doesn't wake up again."

"Aw Mel, don't be so hateful," said Matt, with a heavy sigh. "You don't mean it."

"Yeah I do." But no, I really didn't. Near could live for all I cared. After the Kira case ended I left that obsession behind. I'd say we reached the finish line in our race to Kira at the same time, and to be honest that was the best I could have done. I'd been fully prepared to die in that final stand, but thanks to Death Note Rule IX, which states that if a name is misspelled four times in the notebook that person can no longer be killed by it, I had lived. Takada was in enough of a nervous panic to misspell my name enough to effectively ruin her chances of killing me, at least that's my guess, and Near's. We had a brief talk after the case was over, just a discussion on how things went down, and he informed me of what had been written in the other notebooks to kill Takada, that she would die by suicide, having destroyed everything _she had written on_. We both had little choice but to assume that she had at least attempted to kill me if she had a piece of the notebook with her, and Rule IX was my only way out of that.

As for Matt, he was a pretty good driver. Though Takada's bodyguards did manage to surround him at one point, he'd had the intelligence to just wait for them to get out of their cars first with their guns drawn and all, before slamming down on the gas and just ramming his way through them. Sure he took a shot or two in the process (it was three actually, as he loved to remind me) but he made it out alive and that was what was important.

"I hope you realize," I said to Matt, as I turned on the TV. "This means no sexing it up with Alex until your problem goes away."

"Yeah, I know. How long do we give it before I just go to the doctor?"

"Two days," I said, supposing that the dye I'd used on his skin would probably fade by then. I'd just have to make sure he showered every day. I hadn't used any harsh chemically stuff because I hadn't wanted to _really _hurt him, but what I had used still worked pretty well. "Will you manage to survive?"

"Hell yeah," he said. "I went twenty-one years without sex. I'm pretty sure I can wait a few days. And I can always just jack off to some porn or something. Not that it'll be as good."

"Geez, and you say _I'm _crude," I flipped through the channels and settled on MTV. "And I can not believe she really is the first girlfriend you've ever had." I paused. "Actually, I can. You're lucky to have finally gotten one."

He couldn't move much since he was all stuck with pins, but he did manage to knee me in the back of the head as I leaned against the couch. "Shut up Mr. Never-Dated-Anyone-In-His-Life. You have no room to talk."

"There's just no one out there who's good enough for me," I said. That was also a lie.

I had the feeling Matt was good enough.

* * *

_I know acupuncture is a very delicate practice and all. It was just the only 'cure' I could think of for Mello to use. He's a liar anyway, and Matt trusts him a bit too much sometimes (come on, he trusted him enough to follow his plan to kidnap Takada). Originally the scene was going to go slightly differently, but as Mello said, "As far as I've found out doing that isn't recommended, and probably wouldn't help much." I really did look up acupuncture of the…more delicate parts…and as far as I found it isn't really done…the trouble I go to for accuracy :insert dramatic sigh here:_

_"MJ" is Matt's real name initials, "Mail Jeevas". I'd never realized before how amazingly cool his initials were O.O And I feel that I fail at chat speak…but I never use it, so I have an excuse. As it was I was twitching at the lack of capitalization in that little sentence._

_Watch out for questionable strawberries. They are currently plotting to destroy humanity by attacking their insides._

_No, you don't have to get it :D_


	4. Chapter 4

_Oh look what I've got for you! It's a chapter! Chapter 4 to be exact. And…oooh, what is that? Is that __**finally **__some MattxMello that I see? It could be…it could be…who knows? You'll just have to read the chapter._

_Oh, is there anyone reading this who is fluent in Mexican Spanish? As in slang, the rougher stuff? I may need someone to translate some stuff for me for a future story :)_

* * *

Just as planned, Matt's problem went away completely after two day's worth of showering. Sure he might have wondered. Maybe he thought, 'It sure is weird that it gets a little bit less green every time I shower.' But that was just one more good thing about Matt; he didn't dwell on things. Yeah he'd wonder about stuff, but if he couldn't figure it out after a few minutes of thought, he'd usually just leave it alone. He had better things to do than spend hours "contemplating".

Alex still came over every day or so, and luckily the two of them were finally past the kissing frantically every time they saw each other stage. They were far more willing to just hang out, play video games, maybe go to the movies; in other words, they were finally almost tolerable. They still held hands and would whisper love-y stuff to each other, but at least I didn't have to watch them make-out all the time. I was hoping this change would help with the problems I was having with my perverted imagination.

Well, it didn't. And what's worse is that these fantasies weren't just lustful kink stuff anymore. They…they were getting…

_Romantic_.

Ugh. Disgusting. As if I'd ever be romantic with Matt. With any man. With any woman. With anyone at all. I wasn't a romantic person and I certainly wasn't into the whole "love" thing. In my opinion, if I was ever forced to even get into this subject, was that "love" was just a word people used to make themselves feel better about giving into lust. I mean "making love to someone"? Come _on_. That's like calling a prison a "Correctional Facility". It was all to make people feel better about themselves and make the world seem like this happy-everything-is-dandy -nothing-can-go-wrong-place.

Well it isn't. Anyway, I'm sure you can understand why having romantic fantasies was much worse than having kinky ones. But just because they went against what I was determined to believe didn't mean they were going to go away easily. I was even starting to dream about it. I could only hope that I didn't start talking as I slept. I didn't even want to think about what I might say. If I moaned Matt's name during the night there would be no talking my way out of it.

…

About a week after the acupuncture incident, Matt came home with the news that Alex had been invited to a party her friend's friend was throwing in Beverly Hills, and she had invited Matt along. He was, therefore, inviting me. Yeah, it was _that _kind of party, where the hostess encourages those she invites to invite their friends and to encourage their friends to invite _their _friends. Said hostess's parents were away and living where she did the party would undoubtedly be as near perfect as such a thing could be. So of course I was willing to come along. I actually liked social stuff, unlike Matt, who was anxious every day leading up to it and was a total wreck in the final hours before our departure. He had literally showered three times that day already, and was still worried that he wasn't clean enough.

"I don't know what to wear to these things Mello," he said, standing in front of the bathroom mirror with three different shirts in his hands that he was alternately holding up to himself. "What are you wearing to-"

He cut off as he turned around and saw me, standing in the doorway. I shrugged. "I'm wearing this." "This" was tight lace-up leather shorts and a belly shirt beneath a red mesh top and some mid-calf motorcycle boots. Multiple rosaries and cross-adorned necklaces of varying lengths and a nice studded belt completed it. Matt was staring at me despairingly.

"How can you be comfortable in that?" he said, looking back to the mirror with more worry than ever. Part of his reason for not caring what other's thought of him was because he had no social life and therefore no reputation to uphold. So much for that. Now he was going as a "boyfriend", which instantly gave him a very important reputation. He knew he had to look drop-dead sexy so as not to embarrass Alex.

"Because I look damn fine, Matt," I said, striding into the bathroom. "And so would you if you'd quit with the geek clothes." I snatched the shirts out of his hand and looked through them. "What would make you even _consider _a shirt that has Power Rangers on it?"

"Alex said she liked it-"

"Matt, we are no longer five years old. If you dress like a dork I swear I will deny that I know you the whole time we're there."

"Then help me out!" he said. "I'm no good at this stuff okay? Cut me some slack."

I went back out to the closet, which mostly had my stuff in it since Matt rarely bought any clothes, and began searching through it. I tossed some white high top converse at him, them being the first things that caught my eye, and a pair of knee length gray plaid shorts quickly followed, along with a black and white striped tank top, some black suspenders I didn't know we owned and a black newsboy cap that I'd also never seen before. "Put 'em on," I said, as Matt stood staring down at the stuff I'd thrown in his direction.

"How?" he said, sounding exasperated. "How do suspenders go with shorts and a tank top?"

"Just get on the basic stuff first," I said. "You are completely clueless aren't you?….No, no, do _not _put the suspenders on your shoulders. You let them hang loose, got it? And you wear the hat to the side not straight forward, idiot. Now…" I stood back a moment to look at him. "Good. Now you're presentable. Just loosen up and stop looking so tense."

"I need a cig," he said, grabbing his pack off the bedside table and lighting it up. "I don't know how you stand this social thing Mello. It seems like you'd need anxiety pills."

"What the hell are you worried for?" I asked, going back into the bathroom to dampen my fingers and run them through my hair, playing up its jagged cut a bit. "What do you think is going to happen?"

"I don't know. But people are going to talk to me and I'm going to have to think of intelligent things to say back. And Alex is probably going to want me to dance."

"Look, if you don't want to try to be intelligent, pretend to be a stoner. Party people like stoners; they think they're a riot. And if Alex wants you to dance…well I can't really help you there. That's kinda something you need to just learn on your own. Either that or just strip. Party people also love strippers."

He mumbled something about the world having gone insane and glanced over at the clock on the table. "We better go," he said. "Alex is getting a ride with some of her friends so we can just go straight there."

"You got the directions?"

"Yeah, yeah, got 'em."

"Alright then," I opened up the drawer below the sink and pulled out the eyeliner I kept there, putting on just the very smallest bit. It wasn't something I wore much, certainly not every day, but this was a special occasion. I took just a moment longer to admire my reflection, thinking, 'Damn, I look freaking sexy', but then Matt popped his head in.

"Are you done primping yet? Oh, wow…eyeliner, huh?" he kept staring at me even as I walked out of the bathroom and grabbed the car keys.

"Yeah, I thought I might as well go all out. Alex is a lucky girl to have me in her entourage."

Matt laughed a bit, still a bit distracted looking at my face. "She's lucky…" He caught my face suddenly, turning it so he could get a better look at it. I'd gotten used to Matt's touchy-feely nature too long ago for this to surprise me. He wasn't a social guy, but he was capable of getting really close to those he knew. He liked to be able to touch someone and to be touched back, just because he liked the contact I guess.

"Huh," he said. "You have blue eyes."

I frowned. "Surprise."

"No, no, I wasn't _just _noticing," he said, as I walked out the door and down the hall toward the elevator. "I knew you had blue eyes! They just look extra…blue right now. Hey, come on." He caught me again in the elevator, pinning me to the wall and pressing his forehead against mine. See, what'd I tell you? Most people seem to view physical contact as an awkward thing, but not him. He just didn't view things the same as others. Not because he was "innocent" and wasn't aware of the way things were but because his mind worked differently.

"Don't be mad Mello," he said. "I really did know what color your eyes were. It's just that I _really _noticed now. They're a nice color."

"Personal bubble, Matt," I said, but gave him a forgiving grin. "If someone comes in here they're going to think we're a couple."

"Yeah, wouldn't that be weird?" he said, laughing like the total dork he was. "Imagine that, if one of our neighbors actually thought we were 'together'."

"Oh yeah," I said, rolling my eyes. "Weird. Like us actually going for each other would ever happen."

Damn. I wished it would happen.

…

The party was everything one could have wanted on a warm summer night. There was the massive pool, the fully stocked fridge, the drinks, the lights, the music. This was my kind of atmosphere, where the bodies were close and the very air was super-charged with adrenaline so not a single person in that place could stay calm. It really gave you the opportunity to tear loose, to just let your emotions go and let yourself get lost in the music and the yelling until you're high on life alone. Add in a few drinks and, in my case, that there were plenty of people with their eyes focused straight on me, and the feeling became one of pure electricity. I was right in the mix of dozens of people drowning in lust, happiness, anger, and every other passionate emotion there was. This was the only kind of drug for me, the only kind that wouldn't rot my brain cells.

Now, I'm capable of having fun at a party without getting drunk. I'd had only a little alcohol that night, just enough to create a weird buzz in my head and make me even more bold than I already was. But as for Matt…ah, the poor guy. The social scene really was stressing him out, even though Alex was there to shower him with kisses and encouragement and complements. He just couldn't handle it, not while sober anyway. Therefore, it was safe to say that he was very properly and thoroughly drunk. It was all fun for now but eventually he would start throwing up, as I knew all too well, because as I told Alex Matt really couldn't hold his alcohol. Regardless, at least he was having fun now. I was hearing him laugh every few seconds, lounging on the couch with his arm around Alex and entertaining a small group with whatever nonsense he was saying. I had been keeping mostly to myself among those who were dancing (it was more like moshing at that point) near the pool, but I took a quick break then, going inside to the large living room where Matt was and taking a seat on one of the fancy bar stools, after grabbing one of those cold Godiva chocolate mocha drinks from the fridge. Matt had taken his shirt off by that time, and as I watched him I caught a glimpse of the scar on his left shoulder, a remnant of that day…

…

_The air was already gray with choking smoke. I could only imagine now what it was like inside that church as the flames engulfed it, slithering upwards and licking between the ruined stones of the old building, up and up until they surrounded the cross and lit it like a candle. Maybe I was a bit in shock. After all, this was the first time that day that I'd actually let myself start thinking. From the moment I received that phone call from Halle, when she told me that Near was finally going to make his move…I'd stopped thinking. The situation was past something I could analyze and consider for long periods of time. All that was left was to act, to act quickly and rashly and without thought. I'd stopped here, in a church of all places…I don't know why. When one lets instinct take over, who knows what can happen?_

_But this…I could only assume that this was caused by the Death Note. Takada burning to death, a suicide. Perhaps I'd been meant to go up in flames with her. But no. Not this time. I hadn't been killed this time. With this, hopefully, Near could end it. With this, maybe he could truly condemn Kira…_

_I was sitting a ways away from the flames, seated upon one of the churches most ruined stone walls. Just watching…watching…feeling the heat across my face and the soft breeze. Letting myself calm down and all the adrenaline and anger that had driven me subside. I sighed heavily, taking my cell phone out of my pocket_

_Matt…_

_I'd known they would go after him. There was no way around it. Here and there I'd seen bits of the news coverage on the chase over the TV in the truck's cab but I hadn't been able to concentrate on that. We'd both known the risks of doing this. We'd both accepted that we very well could die. But I, honestly, hadn't thought this would end in death for him._

_I could only hope now that it hadn't._

_I flipped open the phone, but just as I did I caught a glimpse of a car approaching. Halle? No, I didn't want to see her. Better for her to think I was dead. My part in this was over anyway. I'd done what I could._

_I got up and made my way back into the trees, walking at a leisurely pace. The flames crackled behind me, and I heard the sounds of the church's ancient wooden beams burning, weakening, cracking. What a heroic sort of death it would have been, to die in a church. It would have been so suiting an end for me, to burn up in a blaze of heat and light. I think I would have liked that, if I'd had to die. After all, for miles around people would see the smoke from this fire. All of them could have been witnesses to my funeral pyre._

_But I wasn't dead. So it didn't matter._

_I dialed Matt's number, continuing to walk as the line rang. I could hear sirens behind me now. There was a click on the phone, and I paused curiously. "Hello?"_

_An exhaled breath, and then, "Hey Mel. What's up, man?"_

_I wished I was there. I would have slapped him right across the face. I hadn't even realized how tense I was while waiting for him to pick up, and when he answered so casually it just about set me off. But his voice was strained even though he was trying to sound as if everything was fine. "Matt, where are you?"_

"_In the city somewhere," he said. "Some old building downtown. Come on, I don't know shit about this city. I don't really know where I am. What about you?"_

"_Are you hurt?" I said, ignoring his question. I must have sounded furious, but my anger wasn't directed at him. Everything that had just happened was finally catching up with me, this whole crappy mess and the fact that we both could have just been killed. Kira, that bastard. At least I could trust Near to see this through. He could end it. I despised him, but he could get the job done at least._

"_Hey, if you're going to get over here, I'd appreciate you picking up some food on the way," he said. "I'm really hungry-"_

"_Matt, damn it, just tell me if you're hurt!" I yelled into the phone, resisting the urge to throw the thing on the ground. Doing that would definitely be a mistake. I heard a heavy sigh._

"_Mello, calm down would you? I don't need you losing it and trying to find me when you're angry. We've made it this far and survived; don't screw it up now by being an emotional drama queen. You can't draw attention to yourself anymore. Neither of us can. Got it?"_

_I didn't answer, pacing and huffing as I tried to force myself to calm down. Matt was rarely so serious, but luckily he knew how to get through to me. And he was right. The time for rash actions was gone. Now, in the aftermath, both of us had to start thinking hard._

"_Alright," I said at last. "I get it."_

"_Is Takada dead?"_

"_Yeah. Suicide. She set fire to the truck. So I…I can't exactly get to you very easily. I'm out near Nagano."_

"_I told you man, I don't know my way around here. Where's Nagano?"_

"_It's a ways away okay?" I paused, letting my quickly rising frustration subside once more. "Can you get to me?"_

"_Aghhh…I don't know. The Camaro is in pretty bad shape; I think one of the bullets hit something vital in her. Damn, I thought the Japanese couldn't have firepower that nice…"_

"_Did you get shot?" I said as nonchalantly as I could, hoping he'd tell me if he thought I wouldn't go off if he said yes. _

_He paused, then said slowly. "I took one to my shoulder, and one got me lower on the arm. They got me on the chest too, but it's no big deal. Don't worry about it." _

"_You weren't supposed to get hurt," I said fiercely. "Damn it! I thought…I thought they would stay focused on me-"_

"_Chill," he said. "I told you not to worry about it, so cut it out."_

"_Look, I'm coming to find you."_

…

And I did find him. He managed to get himself a room at a motel, so I was able to track him down easier. When I got there, and he opened the door…he'd done what he could putting on bandages with only one hand, but he still looked a mess. I was too angry to think about it…

_I pushed him down to sit on the bed, ripping off the bandages and going to dampen a cloth in the bathroom to wash off the blood. He'd left the bullets in, since they were too deep for him to get out on his own. I did it instead. He gasped and clutched at the blankets, gritting his teeth against the pain, but I got the job done. Bandages weren't enough…he'd need stitches…_

"_Damn Mello…" he said, sounding exhausted. "I swear, I never thought I'd bother to risk my life for someone. Only for you, man." He stayed hunched over on the bed, still grimacing in pain. "Only for you."_

Only for me…wow. That was a big statement. I had to wonder why that was. Why freaking bother Matt? What have I ever done for you? You aren't a risk-your-life kind of guy. That isn't your style. You aren't someone to purposefully involve yourself in problems.

Why only for me?

I watched him stumble to his feet, laughing at some joke I hadn't paid attention to. He headed back down the hallway, toward the bathroom near one of guest bedrooms. I wasn't sure why, but I got to my feet and followed. He looked good with his shirt off, and with his scars there as a constant reminder of what he said…I suddenly thought, 'If he really meant it, and would only do it for me…then that means he wouldn't even do it for Alex.'

Only for me. Huh. Wasn't I special?

He shut the bathroom door clumsily, and I leaned against the wall in the dark hallway, grinning a little as I thought about it. I knew Matt liked Alex, and maybe he even loved her…but hell, she couldn't have what he and I did. Yeah she was a nice girl, and I was starting to think she deserved better. Better than a guy who might be liking someone more than her.

Yeah, you read right. I was beginning to piece things together, and I realized something; Matt had been concerned about my opinion on this girlfriend thing all along. And even before I'd met Alex, those questions he'd asked me…

"_Hey, Mels…we're friends right?"_

"_Of course we are."_

"_You know…we're cool? You and me?"_

"_Yeeaah…are you going somewhere with this?"_

"_Not really. I was just thinking…we share an apartment and stuff…"_

I shook my head. I'd already said Matt wasn't one to care about opinions, and that I could be mad at him all day and he wouldn't care. So why all this over a girlfriend? Well……maybe he'd wanted to make sure that we really were _just _friends. Maybe he'd wanted see if I'd say something…if I'd confess to something… maybe he'd wanted to see if I'd say…

I love you?

Ha. Maybe that's it. Maybe he wanted me to say it. Now that I thought about it, hell, maybe I would. Love doesn't exist, lust does. Wouldn't it be nice if that was fact? Sure he was sexy as hell, and yeah, I wanted him. I wanted him stripped naked and on top of me. Unfortunately it was more than just that.

The bathroom door opened and he flicked off the light, stumbling a little in the dark. He was completely brain-dead drunk…he wouldn't care. It wasn't like he could see who I was in the dark anyway. I grabbed his wrist as he passed me by, making him flinch a bit in surprise. I jerked him toward me, shoving him into the bedroom and shutting the door, then turning the lock. Do. Not. Disturb.

"Alex?" he mumbled, as I reached up and stroked my hands across his chest. I pushed him back until he stumbled on the bed and fell back on the mattress, at which point I crawled over and crouched above him. I was breathing heavy already, my body buzzing with excitement as I leaned down and kissed him. His mouth opened a little, and I felt his tongue touch mine.

I couldn't possibly get enough of him. Damn it Matt, how can I want you so bad even when I can't see you? The fantasies weren't supposed to mean anything. I wasn't supposed to really want this. But now, in the dark, it's even more thrilling. It's more intimate. More…romantic. Ugh. Gross word. But I was beginning to like what it stood for.

I wished I could take my shirt off and feel my skin against his, but if I started getting too close to him he'd know I wasn't Alex even through his drunkenness. I didn't have her….chest. I wondered if he'd push me away if he knew who I was. I felt rather devilish doing this, and I rubbed my face against his, feeling his hot breath on my ear. Come on Matt, kiss me back. Just once. Maybe then I'll realize that I'm insane and that this has to stop because it's so completely stupid. Maybe then I'll realize that this is the last thing on earth that I want.

There. Put your hand on my neck and pull me closer. I'll be getting disgusted any minute. I'll get grossed out.

He smelled like sweat, alcohol, and cigarette smoke. That should have been disgusting, but it was intriguing. Those were bold, dangerous smells. I liked them. If anyone else smelled this way it wouldn't have been very pleasant. Yet I couldn't even see him. It was just the idea of it being him that smelled that way that had me so excited.

He kissed me back, finally. Come on, come on. I hate this right? No, I freaking _love _it. He doesn't just smell like alcohol, he tastes like it too. His upper lip is damp, sweating in the heat. Salty. Alcohol, salt, and ash. Tobacco. His smells, his tastes. All uniquely him. They couldn't smell this way on anyone else, or taste this good.

He had a clumsy tongue, like he was trying but really didn't know what to do with it. Or like he was too drunk to remember what to do with it. He mumbled something against my mouth, garbled words, before he pulled me down fully beside him, shifting his position to top me. His hands tangled up in my hair, stroking through it…hair that was shorter than Alex's, as I realized too late. It was completely stupid, that at that moment I had the sudden desperate thought, 'Don't stop!', but damn it, I was supposed to be convincing myself that I hated this wasn't I? I felt him pause as he reached the ends of my hair, thinking, some memory trying to find its way through that drunken fog in his mind and tell him something. I waited, breathing hard, seeing if he would stop…

His hands moved, down towards my shirt. Of course I knew the moment he tried to take my clothes off this would end. Drunk or not, it would simply never work. I was just hoping I could manage to leave the room without him finding out who I was. If he knew about this it could cause all sorts of trouble…even if he really did want me like this in return…but he wasn't trying to take anything off me. He just touched me, stroking his hands across my chest.

"Who are you?" he said, his voice soft. Even though I couldn't see him I knew he would be frowning. I didn't answer for a while, trying to give myself some time to really get disgusted so I could at least walk out of here without regretting that it never went further. I couldn't possibly like him touching me like this. Before…when we were kissing…maybe. Maybe I could let myself acknowledge that I liked that. But these touches were bordering on being too intimate to like out of lust. They were too soft to be really stimulating.

"Well?" his voice was more demanding this time, a more sober intelligence cutting through the drunkenness. I sat up, pushing him off me.

"It doesn't matter," I kept my voice quiet, almost a whisper. He wouldn't be able to recognize it that way. "Sorry. But, I'll tell you this: you're damn good."

I got to my feet, unlocked the door, slipped out into the dark hall, and then quickly shut myself in the bathroom instead. Matt would be following close behind me and I wouldn't have had time to mingle back into the crowd without looking suspicious. I glanced over at my face in the mirror as I turned on the light, my skin flushed and hair especially messy. I found myself thinking, 'Those drinks must have got to me…'

Yeah right. I was far from drunk. Drunk on alcohol anyway. But I _was _drunk on Matt. Drunk on every freaking thing about him.

"This is hormones," I told myself sternly as I looked in the mirror. "Stupid, stupid hormones. You've gone too long without any satisfaction and this is what happens."

I turned on the faucet, pure cold water, and rubbed it on my arms. What I really needed was a cold shower, but that wasn't available to me at the moment. No big deal. It wasn't like I couldn't control myself. Everything was fine, and Matt didn't know. If my theory was correct, and he really did want me too……well, I guess I'd deal with that when it came up. _If _it did. Which hopefully it wouldn't.

This was stupid. Wretchedly, wretchedly stupid. Romance…love…ha…as if I'd ever actually…want…

Shit. I did want it though.

But I couldn't hide in the bathroom forever. I reached over, turned the doorknob, and step out into the hall…only to run straight into Matt. His expression told me he hadn't expected me either.

"Oh…Mello?" he said it, strangely, as a question.

"Yeah, that's my name," I said, even though my stomach was knotting up with anxiety just seeing him. I'm just not the kind of person who's supposed to feel this way, but my face was getting really hot. It was suddenly embarrassing, the things that had come so naturally and felt so thrilling and sinfully wonderful in the dark. But now that I was seeing his face again, I couldn't stop thinking, 'Oh man, I kissed him…damn it, I _kissed _him!'

"Do you need something?" I said, casually brushing past him.

"Ahhh…no…no I guess not," he rubbed his head, looking confused. "I wasn't expecting you to be…uh…never mind."

I gave him a smirk. "I think we know _you're _not the designated driver tonight."

Though I'd love for him to give me a ride anyway.

* * *

_Aaaannnd…it ends with another lame, lame innuendo. Oh geez. One more chapter to go!_


	5. Chapter 5

"_Once Mello started acting on his own, it was going to be hard to advance the story unless he had someone to talk to. So that's why I created Matt." – Tsugumi Ohba, Death Note 13: How to Read, page 69._

_I find that to be one of the most wonderful things I've read about Death Note. Matt was created specifically for Mello. He was put in the story to be there as someone for Mello to talk to. Just for him._

"_It may have seemed that all he did was play video games, but his existence itself was important." – Tsugumi Ohba, Death Note 13: How to Read, page 69._

_Awww. So here's the last chapter. Yes, the very last!_

* * *

Matt was just about sober again the day after the party. He had the hangover and all, and was perfectly dramatic about it and said that he was dying and that he'd never drink again.

"Ah, man…" he mumbled, hiding under the bed blankets as I brought him ibuprofen and tomato juice, which was supposed to help cure him according to certain websites. And of course, we both knew I was excellent at finding online cures. "Can't you put something over the windows Mel? The light is killing me."

"It's your own fault idiot," I said.

He peered out with narrowed eyes from beneath the blankets, looking like a complete mess with his hair sticking up at weird angles. "How come you never get drunk?"

"So I can laugh at the people who do when they're lying around the next day moaning because they're sick," I said. "Now just drink this. I'm tired of your complaining and I'm not going to be a servant for you just because of your own stupid choices."

He eventually recovered and felt just fine. So there he was sober again…and I still wasn't. I hadn't even managed to get to the hangover. I think the problem was that I just kept "drinking" my kind of alcohol. That is, Matt.

Just seeing him around was enough, and he didn't seem to be planning on going anywhere. The fantasies had been bad enough, but now it seemed everything he did and said had some underlying sexual innuendo. Just seeing him eat a popsicle made me want to put my head through a wall in frustration. Bananas were just as bad. And there he was not even caring or realizing what he was freaking putting me through. Every time he'd tug at my hair or tackle me or roll over across me while were watching TV I could hardly stand it. He must have thought I was going through a really bad mood, but it was just that I couldn't let myself get too turned on around him…for obvious reasons.

I knew I couldn't stay like this, and it was starting to seem that this wasn't just something that was going to go away. But there was no way I was telling Matt. Either he'd admit to wanting me (if he really did), or nothing at all would happen. _Nothing_. I would just…suffer through or something.

The nights were the worst. I was feeling pretty damn lonely sleeping alone now, especially when Matt was out spending the night with Alex. There were times when I'd get so close to going over there and bringing him home a gunpoint, but I managed to control myself. It helped to just let myself have my fantasies at night. If I kept trying to distract myself I'd never get to sleep.

What was so wretchedly special about Matt anyway? Why him? Was it just because he was there? No. It was _him_. Him specifically. Something about him was just too good to leave alone. Something about him made me feel like I was about to lose my mind, yet something about him also kept me from doing just that.

…

_He was the one that was too busy to pay attention to me. He was the boy who played video games all the time and didn't care when I'd run through Wammy's House screaming in a fit. He was third and I was second even though I'd arrived only weeks ago. He, Matt, didn't even look at the grade charts. He threw away his report cards. He didn't care. There was no wonderful triumph for me in passing him up. He never gave me any look of jealousy._

_He didn't care. All he ever really paid attention to was that video game._

_All the other kids already knew not to mess with me. I was nasty, and they all knew that I'd hurt them if they upset me. The thing with Matt was that he never openly challenged me…he just ignored me. And that was far worse than any taunting. I hated being ignored, damn it! Therefore, one day while we were playing outside, I took action._

"_Hey!" I marched over to him, sitting against the house playing his GameBoy. I grabbed hold of those stupid goggles he wore on his eyes, pulled the forward and snapped them back, all before he could react. He yelped in pain, the game dropping from his hands as he reached up to rub at his face. He took off the goggles, glaring up at me._

"_What's wrong with you?" he snapped._

"_Ha! So you can talk!" I said, putting my hands on my hips and grinning. "I actually made the mute boy speak!"_

_His glare worsened. "Shut up. Leave me alone."_

"_Or what?" I taunted. "Are you gonna tell on me, huh, goggle-boy? Stupid gamer. __**Third**_._"_

_He shook his head, picking up his game again. What? __**What**__?! After all that and he was just going back to his game? No way. He wasn't getting away with that! I snatched the GameBoy out of his hands and snapped off the screen, just as easily as that. He sat there gaping at me._

"_Pay attention to me when I'm talking to you!" I said. _

_I wasn't exactly prepared for him to attack me so suddenly. But still, we were just little boys; we didn't know how to really fight. We could bite, scratch, slap, and pull hair, but for all that we didn't do much damage to each other. We both had cut lips and were covered in dirt by the time Roger and some of the teachers broke us apart, but beyond that, all that was truly damaged was his GameBoy and my pride._

_I had to face it: he'd seriously whipped my ass._

_All the same, to save face, I had to keep insisting that I be allowed to go at him. So I went through all the proper motions of a temper tantrum, only to be dragged kicking and screaming along with the irritated Matt to our punishment corners, where we had to sit and reflect on our wrongs. I hated sit-and-think punishments. Judging by Matt's expression, which satisfied me greatly, one would think he'd never seen anything quite like what I was doing. Rather than sitting properly and staring submissively at the wall, I rolled over onto my back so that I could kick the wall with my feet and pound my fists against the floor, shrieking, "It's not fair!" at the top of my lungs. I saw his little smirk though when Roger came back and gave me a swat on the backside for all my noise, saying, "You shall quiet yourself at once, sir! __**At once**__!"_

_The room was terribly silent after that. Matt and I sat there at opposite sides of the room sticking out our tongues and making faces at each other, each wishing the other very ill predicaments. _

"_I hate you!" I hissed._

"_That's silly," he said. "You don't even know me! You started this whole mess."_

"_I didn't! __**You**_ _did!"_

"_Oh really? How's that then?"_

"_You ignored me!"_

_He frowned. "What on earth do you want my attention for? You're already second here. Everyone knows who you are. But you can't expect me to treat you like a prince. If I want to ignore you I will."_

_My lower lip trembled. "Nooo," I whined. "Don't ignore me." I pounded my fist against the floor with every word. The fact that he had ignored me at all had made this a desperate challenge for me. Now I had no choice but to capture his attention and keep it. I couldn't bear it if this went on. Everyone would see it; Mello isn't good enough for that Matt-boy's attention, they would think. I cringed at the very thought. I certainly was good enough! I was good enough for anyone!_

_Matt sighed heavily. "You're being so bothersome. Don't you already have plenty of friends?"_

_I didn't want to answer that, so I just sat up and squished my face into the corner. I didn't make friends. There were children I played with, but I wasn't friends with them nor could I imagine myself ever being their friend. They all either hated me or were scared of me, and I could never be friends with someone like that._

_But stupid Matt wouldn't stop talking. "Oh, so you __**don't**_ _have friends. Well no wonder. You aren't very good at making people like you." Perfectly blunt. "Look, we can hang out or whatever. Just don't be a pain."_

_I hated that he was giving me orders, and I thought that surely I would never want to be anywhere near him ever again…yet, somehow, by the next day we were still with each other throughout the day. It wasn't a conscious thing, where I thought 'We're friends now', it just sort of happened. I could talk to him and he wouldn't try to give annoying advice or sympathy, he'd just listen. If I ranted to him about how frustrated I was after yet another test on which Near had done better than me, he never said he was sorry about it. After a while he was more willing to talk to me too. He mellowed out even more as he got older, and as it turned out he wasn't a fierce or demanding guy. He could be serious, but he didn't like to be._

_And the night I left, after I found out L was dead, I remember him watching me pack my things. His expression was confused, the shock of our idol's sudden death and my impending departure too much to take in at once._

"_I guess it figured this would happen," he said, his voice quiet, the exact opposite of my own._

"_What are you talking about?" I snapped. "This shouldn't have happened! L wasn't supposed to die! He said he'd defeat Kira!"_

"_I'm not talking about that," he said. "I'm talking about you. One of your temper tantrums brought us together, so it figures that one would tear us apart too."_

"_This isn't a tantrum!" I said, and even as I did I slammed my fist against the wall. My whole body was trembling, and I was really wishing I wasn't too old to cry. But I was, and I held the tears back and let them sting my eyes. "It's not fair! L was supposed to choose! I worked hard for this! It wasn't supposed to just…end…"_

"_But it did," he ran his finger along the blanket on my bed as he spoke. "So you're running away."_

"_No," I snarled. "I'm not. I'm making my own choice. If L had chosen me, I would have known that I'm good enough. Well now I can never have that. So all I can do is try to prove to myself, on my own, that I'm good enough. And I can't do that here."_

"_On your own?" he finally looked up at me, and this time there was something new in his tone. Was that…hurt?_

"_I have to. I just…I can't handle it right now. I need to get away. I can't think. Look, I'll call okay?"_

_I slung my bag over my shoulder and headed for the door, everything in my mind racing far too fast. It was true; I couldn't think at all. Nothing was clear right then. But Matt wasn't willing to let me go just yet. He jumped up from the bed and grabbed my arm, pulling me back. He pressed his forehead to mine, as he did so often after when we met up again._

"_Hey…we're friends, aren't we?" he said. Neither of us ever used the word "friends" in reference to each other, but…_

"_Yeah. Of course. We're friends, Matt."_

Drive me insane and then pull me right back down to sanity. Matt seemed to have a tendency to do that. That night, it had been him stopping me for those few brief seconds that probably kept me from being killed in the first few hours after I left Wammy's House. Just a few seconds, stop, think, and concentrate on something that doesn't make me so angry. Because for the rest of the night, in the back of my mind, I couldn't stop thinking about that. Matt and I were friends, and we'd finally admitted it. I was hurt and furious, but there was still that little thought to make me feel something different. A silly, ridiculous, giddy fluttering in my stomach.

Matt and I had started off as strangers who wouldn't admit that they already knew the other was even on the same planet.

Then we'd become enemies who wouldn't admit they were friends.

Then we'd become friends….who wouldn't admit…that…

Damn it, Matt. I want you so bad.

…

"Yes…yes! Come on, come on, go faster! Yes! You have been dominated! Who's your daddy now, fool?"

That's what I had to listen to. Matt was playing the PS3, right in the middle of a desperate battle, and that was what it sounded like. If only it wasn't so wretchedly hot outside I would have left the apartment. But the AC was fixed now, so it was much cooler inside. I'd get through it…I just wouldn't think about it…

It wasn't helping that Matt was currently drinking strawberry Boba. "Those balls taste really weird," he said. He rolled said balls about in his mouth for a few moments. "They're soft…and squishy…they have a really different flavor." I twitched. I wanted to throw something at him just to make him shut up. "Ah, new enemy! Ha! Yes! Thrust!"

I quickly got up, knowing I had to distract myself elsewhere. The kitchen. Yeah. Good place. "Hey Mel!" Matt called. "Why don't you make brownies or something? We haven't had those in a while."

That sounded good. Brownies. Cooking. A perfect distraction. I got out the bowl and the ingredients and started on it. I didn't do stuff like this often, but I was actually pretty good at making certain foods when I tried. I was about midway through mixing the batter when Matt came in for a drink and leaned over my back to get a look at how things were going.

"Cool, looks good," he said. He dipped his finger into the bowl. "Hey, when you're done, I want to lick the bowl. Man, this stuff is good. Did you put more sugar this time?"

Oh…he wanted to lick the bowl. Splendid. Just wonderful. He'd probably get chocolate on his face…on his lips. He'd probably get it on his fingers and slowly suck it off. I ended up just standing there with my mouth hanging open thinking about it. Wouldn't it be nice if he took his shirt off and let me paint the batter all over him and lick it off-

No, no, no! Stop it!

"What was that?" Matt peered back into the kitchen, where I was now standing with a throbbing head on account of some self-punishment. "What'd you do?"

"Hit my head on the counter," I said dazedly.

He gave me a weird look. "_Why_?"

"Accident."

He frowned, but went back out to his game. This couldn't keep happening!

…

It seemed that my bad mood was rubbing off on Matt a bit as the days went on. He was quieter and wouldn't say much to me, but instead spent more time out with Alex. It was probably better this way for me too, but it didn't feel any better. I just felt lonelier. Hell, I'd _never _felt lonely before. I'd always been perfectly fine on my own. Yet here I was moping around the house because Matt wasn't there and it was my own fault. Yet there was nothing I could do, save for actually admit to him that I felt this way. And that was out of the question.

There was no way I'd do that.

But then, one day, Matt didn't come home. He'd spent the night with Alex, as was his habit as of late, but he wasn't back the next morning…or the next afternoon…or the next night. Three nights in total, he was away. He didn't call, and when I tried to get him on his cell phone he didn't answer. Of course my first reaction was anger. How dare he ignore my calls? But then that anger softened, and I started thinking, 'Why?' Had I really been that unfriendly? Yeah, I'd been in a bad mood, but not so much of one that he'd actually _leave_, right? He wouldn't do that. He wouldn't just move out, not without telling me. He wouldn't move out period. He couldn't. I wouldn't let him!

It wasn't supposed to come to this. I was never supposed to be the one to go to others. They were supposed to come to _me_. This was just pathetic. What was I supposed to do anyway? Track him down and beg him to come back? No. No, I would _demand _he come back, and he would do as I said or I'd drag him back here. Damn him, staying away like this. There was no excuse; he'd better have plenty of apologies ready.

All this was going through my head as I paced the house and finally headed toward the door, fully prepared to walk to Alex's home and get Matt back here. Never mind that I didn't know where exactly she lived. I'd track them down eventually, and then I'd tell him. I'd just tell him the truth and have it over with. There was no way things could continue the way they were. That is, I couldn't keep bashing my head against kitchen counters and sulking.

I opened the door, ready to storm out into the hall and throughout the streets of LA. I would have too, if I hadn't run straight into Matt who was standing very inconveniently in front of me. He had been pacing too it seemed, fussing and huffing before he went inside, and his eyes widened as he saw me.

"Mello-"

"Damn it, Matt! Where have you been?" I slapped the back of his head, going at him furiously. "You think you can just disappear for days without a word? You think you can do that to me?"

"You've done it plenty of times-"

"This isn't about me, it's about you! Bastard! You couldn't even answer your cell just once and tell me where the hell you were? Do you think I enjoy being ignored like that?"

He was beginning to chuckle at me. "Mello," he shook his head, "you have no idea what you're doing to me."

"I know perfectly well what-"

"No," he grabbed my wrists, shoving me back into the apartment and pushing the door closed. "You don't."

I fought off the simultaneous urges to both hold my breath and hyperventilate. Geez, don't get so close to me, don't get so close!

"I had to get out of the house," he said. "I couldn't stand it anymore. What's the deal Mello, were you _trying _to taunt me?"

"Excuse me?"

"You know what you were doing! Looking at me like you could see through my clothes. If I was ever blocking you from getting something you'd bend around me all slow and get close to me. And I don't even want to go into the way you'd bend over, even if it was just a little bit to lean on something. Like you were showing off your ass, man. That's just not fair."

I'd been doing that? Huh. I hadn't noticed. Unconscious flirtation I suppose. But what really interested me was that he'd noticed. So he'd been paying attention?

"Should you really be noticing things like that?" I said. Wasn't I one to talk, oh pure Saint Mello. "You're dating Alex, so-"

"No. I'm not. Not anymore," he let go of me and stepped back, running his hand through his hair as he exhaled heavily. "I…we…decided that it would be best…that we'd both be cool with it, if…if we just backed off a bit. You know, from each other. We can really be good friends, and I like her. I really do. But we started into it really fast, and I knew we were both trying too hard…"

My eyebrows had shot up in surprise. "Is there something I'm missing here? Last thing I saw everything looked just fine. Happy little couple…"

"Yeah, we were happy," he said, beginning to sound frustrated. "She was having some rough times and needed someone. Now thing are starting to straighten out, and she's the one who brought it up that yeah, we like each other, but we weren't so in love as we would have liked to think." He began to pace. "Besides, she deserves better. She deserves a guy who's really going to be loyal to her, not someone who's trying to make himself love her as a replacement."

"Again, excuse me? Replacement for what?"

"For you! I knew you'd never…you'd never go for it. I didn't think you would. You've talked about how love doesn't exist and it's all just lust…so if I told you, you'd think it was crap and wouldn't believe me. Well it isn't. People can love each other, damn it! I don't care what you think of it. I got sick of using her; she doesn't deserve that." He held up his arms. "I tried Mello, okay? I tried. I really, really did. I didn't want to ruin us being friends by bringing this into it. But it's going to drive me crazy soon."

I smirked a bit, really liking where this was going. "So you're saying…you love me?"

He hesitated and licked his lips nervously, but said at last, "Yes."

"Well, well." This was good. He'd admitted it first so now I didn't have to. Now maybe if he'd just beg me to have him…this was a good opportunity for me to save face, at least a bit, for all that unconscious flirting I'd apparently been doing.

"Oh yeah, you're one to talk Mello," he went on, really going off now. "You can't tell me you weren't that cocky bastard who pulled me into the bedroom at the party. I know it was you!"

"Yeah?" I laughed a bit, stepping up to him and staring him down. "How're you gonna prove it?"

He kissed me before I could get another word out. I was put off balance at the weight of him holding onto me and took a few steps back, stumbled on the arm of the couch and fell back onto it, with him landing heavily on my chest. He sucked all the breath out of me with that kiss. Every ounce of sense and thought wasn't instantly gone. I closed my eyes, melting into that taste again, the scent of him filling me as I shakily inhaled. His tongue touched mine, and I felt him move his knee up between my legs.

He broke off the kiss, saying, "I remember that taste. I know what it's like to kiss you. No one else is like you. And I've been around you long enough to know how you are, Mello."

Oh man, that was nice. I wondered if I tasted as good to him as he did to me. Maybe I was intoxicating to him like he was to me. He smiled down at me suddenly. "I've never seen you look like that before."

"Like what?" my voice sounded weird, like I'd just woken up and was still drowsy.

"Like you're high on something real good. You're really a jerk, you know that? You should have said something to me."

"About what?"

He kissed my forehead, my nose, and then my mouth again. "About you loving me too."

"I don't."

"Oh really?" he moved his face against my neck, more kissing. "I think you're lying."

He had lowered his voice, and now he nuzzled against my neck, holding my wrists as he kissed and bit my skin, light touches that gave me chills. Then I felt his tongue, soft teasing touches across my throat. "Mello," he said, speaking close to my ear now, "I didn't go through all this just to have you act all tough and prideful on me. You want me too. Say it."

I'd been perfectly prepared to admit everything before, but now…it was my pride that was saying no. Wretched thing had a habit of popping up when it was least wanted. Why did Matt have to be difficult _now_? He was just about torturing me, touching me like that. Just get my clothes off already! It should have been enough for him to just know I felt the same, as he surely did.

"Say it Mello," he said, and his knee began to rub softly against me.

I gasped a bit, but managed to say, "I'm not going to say any of that…sappy…junk…"

"Alex would say it."

"So? I don't give a damn what…what Alex would say…I…" he released my wrists, instead moving his hands beneath my shirt to caress me. I tried to keep my breathing regular and calm, but that was really an entirely useless and stupid effort. He pulled the cloth up and began to use his mouth, more kisses and again the soft chilling touch of his teeth. Damn it, don't, don't…ah, then his tongue, moving from my stomach up to my chest. I tried pushing him away, but he just caught my wrists again and continued as he was.

"Make it worth it that I left Alex for you," he said. "Otherwise I'll just keep teasing you and won't let you get any satisfaction out of it."

"Bastard. You say I'm the…jerk…" I sounded so stupid, my breath gasping in and out. Why did I have to be so sensitive to every little touch?

He smirked, raising his head slowly to look me in the face with a predatory glint in his eye. I felt a thrill run through my entire body at that. "I'll leave you frustrated," he went on, and started again with his knee rubbing between my legs. I held back what probably would have sounded like a very needy whimper and bit my tongue as I glared at him. "I'll let you get hard and then I'll stop. Maybe I'll let you go and you'll just have to jack yourself off to feel better. Or…no. Instead of that, I'll tie you up so you can't touch yourself at all. And I'll leave you here…" he paused a moment, as I lay there now with my eyes closed, cringing even as I envisioned what he was saying and him really doing it. He could tie me up and tease me if that's what he wanted…I wouldn't mind…I'd go for that…but wasn't I supposed to be in charge here? Yeah…yeah, that was the way it was supposed to work. I called the shots and he did as I said.

"No," I said, trying to get back together some semblance of confidence in my voice. "You can't do that. It should be up to me what goes on. You should be…mmm." He cut me off, getting my mouth with his before I had a chance to close it. When he pulled away it was only barely, and I my mind was so addled that I had to pause a few seconds to find my words again. "You…you should be begging me to have you! You're lucky that I've ever even considered you…worth my…time…s-stop it…"

"Stop being difficult and maybe I will," he said, beginning to trail his tongue on me again. Down my chest, down, down, over my stomach, right to the very top of the shorts I was wearing. He refused to let go of my wrists the whole time, instead choosing to just pull them down with him as he went lower and lower. I swallowed hard, and he took hold of the cloth around the button on the jean shorts with his teeth, giving it a quick tug and popping them open. "Come on Mello…just say it."

"Agh, what do you want?" I struggled, beginning to arch my back a little and try to pull my wrists free. "What do you want me to say? Can't you just…"

"Can't I just what?"

"Just…just fuck me already, would you? We both want it, okay?"

"It's not that simple," he moved back up, slowly, to bring his face close to mine. "Remember? I said I love you. I don't want to 'just fuck', got it? We aren't whores Mello. _Anyone _can 'just fuck'. Don't you want to try something a little harder? It seems like you of all people would want to challenge yourself."

I didn't get what he was saying, not that it was any surprise. I was too distracted trying to get myself into a position to touch him more. Anything for contact, for some escalation, for _something_.

"You know what I mean," he said, and he got off of me almost completely, getting up onto his hands and knees and taking away the small amount of contact I'd had. A frustrated sound rose up in my throat before I could stop it. "It's much harder to actually love someone you're doing it with, you know? You have to get over your stupid pride. I'm not into feeling like I'm being used, so unless you give up the act…I suppose I could go back to Alex…"

"Don't you dare!" This was such an irritating stupid position to be in. I needed to start working out or something…Matt couldn't just keep being able to hold me down like this. "Fine! I…I…" Damn it, they were just words! Why couldn't I say them? I was supposed to be good at being honest…and if I said it, it would be the truth, undeniably. I knew it was true regardless of whether or not it was completely stupid. It was worth it though, just to taste him again, just to have him _only for me_. He brought his face down close to my ear, and said my name soft and slow…not my alias but my real name, the one that really means something.

"Mihael…come on…please?"

I mumbled it softly, but that wasn't good enough. Either Matt really couldn't understand me, or he was just being cruel, but he told me I'd have to repeat myself because he hadn't caught a thing I'd said. I clenched my teeth and snapped, "Difficult bastard! I said I love you!"

…

A few weeks ago, if I had seen myself now, I would have said I'd gotten myself into a pretty idiotic situation. I would have slapped myself upside the head. But that's alright. I'm good with change.

I can't recall at the moment if Matt is alright with change too, but he's done just fine with this.

We've been friends a long time. Fifteen years, hell; that's over a decade. We've been lovers for only a day, but I don't think the length of time really matters. It's the fact that we _are _that does.

I think I'm starting to warm up to this romance thing. Lust is still great and all, but romance makes lust more personal. It makes it sweeter. It's makes it so that when Matt is naked and sweating, breathing hard and moving against me faster because I'm demanding it, he seems all the more sexy because he's _my _Matt and I love him enough to kill for him. It makes it so that there's something really nice to fall back on when the sex is over, so you don't have to think you just wasted yourself on someone who doesn't give a damn about you.

But for now, I'm happy enough to not even think about it. It's nice to just lay here against Matt, feeling better than I've ever felt in my life. It's nice to hear him still talking to me, just rambling about junk and running his fingers through my hair. It's nice to see those bullet scars and think that he got those for me. Love marks, that's what they are.

Matt is saying the temperature is going to be crazy again today. Probably somewhere in the hundreds. That's a Southern California summer for you, but I don't mind. I tell him I'd like to make it even hotter. Let's make the temperature soar; let's get it high until we can't breath. Let's melt into each other, and if I stop breathing he can do mouth-to-mouth.

And we can get drunk. So drunk that we can't stand. Then we'll have an excuse to stay in bed.

"What're you gonna get drunk on?" he asks.

"You," I say, and I kiss him again. This is the only way I ever need to get drunk. Hmm, I know Corona tastes good with lime…

You know what? Matt does too.

* * *

_And there it is. It ends, officially, with __**another **__lame innuendo. Oh yes, wouldn't you just like to whack me with something for cutting off right before the lemon and lime? Well, I'll have you know I have yet to discover the secret to good sex scene writing, and I refuse to allow others to read something that I don't feel at least a bit confident about. Look for it in the future, readers :)_

_Oh yes, about Alex. Since I didn't exactly make her a terrible person, but actually tried to make her nice, it was not as if I could write some kind of dramatic break up scene. I know I could have done a lot of things with this story better/differently, but I'll make up for it in the future._

_Thanks a bunch to everyone for reading and reviewing! I'll start replying soon. Maybe I'll see some of you on the 27__th__ at Comic Con :D_

_Until next time,_

_Pyrat_


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